Poncho Writer - Currently Editing a Novel

Group scenes.

Worth getting on a tattoo, or at least an elegant macramé.

No, not anywhere close to that.

Well...litfic is the Michelin dining experience. Tastes funny, no idea what it is, but you are supposed to like it.

I am in revision 5. I have at least one more to go. It's tattoo painful, but I am making slow progress.

The worst one. Literary fiction.

The dining area opened off the kitchen, a slab-oak table set under a pendant fixture. The peach-colored accent wall behind it held Kuba masks. Blue-and-white beadwork traced their brows and noses. Cowrie shells were sewn along the caps above the faces. A Yoruba divination board hung beside them, aligned with the center of the table. Four carved heads circled its rim. A crack ran through the worn center, stitched with rusted metal hooks. In the corner of the dining area, a Dogon granary ladder with notched steps leaned against the wall on felt pads, its top split into a fork.

Write, and re-write, and re-write. Six versions? The reader spends 20 seconds, the writer an hour.

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I may not be a good writer. I see a lot of happy writers out there. For me every moment is a painful, stressful slog I am absolutely compelled to continue. Sisyphus pushes the keyboard across another page.

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Everything is Everything by Lauryn Hill is top 1 best song of all time. Just stating facts.

My life, as a writer, is about managing my C-PTSD, which manifests through a lot of executive dysfunction. God said I gave you a stone to carry, but it will make you stronger.

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Crippling anxiety. Tho somewhere in the back of my mind I know that the reader is only going to find that if they...read it - which is already a win. There is no universe where "stops" decides my book.

A book I am reading missed the transposition of "spots" for "stops" - in context the correct one is obvious. Let me pull back the curtain. This is not a lack of effort. This is humans being human.

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A glaring hole in an important scene. How did you get there?

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Not quite there, we'll see what happens.

Editing is like watching the same movie a hundred times and picking it apart. So I guess if you can do that and still love the work, there is something there.

Line editing. I have developed an extensive style sheet that all serve the overall philosophy of what I am trying to accomplish. Now I have actually stick to it. For example, I don't use similes. Sounds weird, right? I just have to trust myself that this will all come together in the end.

Contemporary literary fiction. I'm just in it for the money.

So long I am making progress, however slow, there is a reason to keep going on my own - as painful as it may be at times. If I ever hit a wall, I'll reconsider.

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I want to say that editing is going well and I am enjoying it.

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Yup. Been there. Writing sucks. But we do it anyway. Write from your heart, not your brain. It'll all work itself out in revisions.

I found the picture of a tree in my research and it was a goldmine. I will never be able to describe the majesty of that tree, but it oriented me, inspired me. Research can be a feast of inspiration. Alternatively, your mind is drawing you somewhere else for a reason.

I am not sure that a single word of my rough drafts ever survive as is. But if I didn't have the first draft, I couldn't have the second, or the third, or watch it start to take shape into something beautiful. Keep tumbling.

Pushed and my brain rebels. Ignored and it creeps forward.

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I have really come to focus on finding remedies for my executive dysfunction. Having so much left to do can feel paralyzing.

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I am normally one to keep work and the state of the world separate. But these days, that is becoming harder as a writer and a person consuming so much senseless tragedy. It's harder to maintain those boundaries when the world is once again on fire.

sic semper tyrannis

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Ugh. I have a new idea and I am still deep in line edits. I have to win one war before I can fight another.

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Always hard to turn editor-brain off when writing.

Size matters not. (also you have me beat). Kudos to you!

Restarting after the holidays...anyone ever push start a car?

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