Turn my music high, high, high, high-er
(You don't know what you're doing, doing, doing)
Sure I do!

That can't be right...

Surely you broke something- how did you manage to empty it? Check again, maybe?

The bag of bags has been passed on from our ancestors. It springs eternal. It is everlasting and neverending.

Our ancestors said there would always be bags...

We. Are. Losing. Recipes.

I emptied the plastic bag where I keep my plastic bags today. I'm ashamed of the amount of bags I had.

Where has this ritual come from? 🤔

a young boy is making a funny face while wearing a blue shirt and yellow collar . ALT: a young boy is making a funny face while wearing a blue shirt and yellow collar .

😂😂😂

Wife: How much food are you going to eat today?

Me:

I've now started pouring my Remy into a champagne flute, because I'm fancy. 😌 🥂
Turn that inebriation up, lemme mooooove, accordingly. 😂

Happy Christmas. Enjoy the season and 🎊🎊

When my manifestation to see some 'Camel Toe', is lost in translation.

😂😂😂

Has one too many drinks:

a person is holding an empty wallet with a picture of johnny depp in it . ALT: a person is holding an empty wallet with a picture of johnny depp in it .

Christmas shopping complete.

My wallet:

If this made its way to your timeline…. consider it cleansed and blessed 😩🤌🏾

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂.

Vanity from The Last Dragon.

It feels so good to type "Out of Office until January 7th."

Time to get a trim and freshen up.

Lori Grimes.

Cha Cha Cha ft Hah Hah Hah.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

Nobody:

Typos enjoying themselves, after ruining a skeet:

a man in a yellow outfit is standing in front of a door ALT: a man in a yellow outfit is standing in front of a door

“Cut me some slack, jack.”
“Can you dig it?”
“Up your nose with a rubber hose”
“Stone cold fox”

I wanna bring some of these back 😂

Balenciaga:

"Here is Pegasus, wearing our new Neigh collection"

Price: £12,000.

Bargain.

a cat is laying under a blanket on a bed and says comfy . ALT: a cat is laying under a blanket on a bed and says comfy .

Them: Hey are you coming to the work party?

Me: Yeeeeaaaaah. Can't wait I'll see you there.

Also me at 10pm.

a man with a beard is smiling and making a funny face with his mouth open . ALT: a man with a beard is smiling and making a funny face with his mouth open .

It's work Christmas party season but when you’re 47, a work 'party' sounds exhausting. I’m not preheating my knees for that.

a man in a white shirt and bow tie is standing in a boxing ring with his mouth open . ALT: a man in a white shirt and bow tie is standing in a boxing ring with his mouth open .

Black women with locs!

Year 5 🍃✨💕
A Sacred Journey To Grow With Your Hair
#locs #locjourney #loccommunity #addblacksky #blacksky #locsky

I’m so proud of my 7 years Loc’d ❤️

Me: *Steps on Lego*

My dramatic body:

To my Black Kings and Queens: I see you, I celebrate you, and I’m so grateful for the laughter, joy, and light you bring into my life. You’re never alone, and you don’t ever have to be—I’m here, your biggest cheerleader, rooting for you always. Sending love and prayers to you and your loved ones! ❤️👑

When you're on holiday, and check your emails out of sheer curiosity.... and see a plethora of work queries

a sloth is laying on the ground on a street ALT: a sloth is laying on the ground on a street

I remember those days vividly. Trying to crawl out of the room when the finally fall asleep. Being careful not to make a sound.
Toddlers, however, have super sonic hearing and can hear me thinking about going to my own bed.

I know it's challenging but it will get better.