Crime Allie

BlueSky’s trending bar saying both Epstein and Super Mario Galaxy are trending

Epstein had a whole galaxy now?

Game changer for anyone who uses weed - watch Pioneer Woman. Even sober, the stuff Ree Drummond comes out with is so out of pocket that I’m left confused and yelling at the tv in both delight and outrage.

If you’re British, do it while watching the episode where she cooks a “full English”.

Comfy goth fashion for a road trip 🖤✨

3 hours of hijacking the stereo with She Wants Revenge

#gothfashion #gothgirls

I’ve been waiting YEARS for its return. Best thing KFC has ever offered.

THE DOUBLE DOWN IS BACK?!

Excuse the lack of makeup, but finally got my hair redone after two months

#gothfashion #goth #gothgirls

I’m gonna say it: after the 14th straight night of hearing fireworks, I think we should cancel bonfire night and remove the two weeks surrounding the fifth from the calendar (with the exception of Halloween).

Fruitger aqua picture with a caption that reads “we all deserved a day where Dick Cheney died in the morning, and Mamdani was elected Mayor in the evening, and we got it”

I can’t prove that Dick Cheney’s death reversed a curse put on America, or broke an evil spell, but Mamdani’s win sure is good evidence.

Video essay title: “Cat in the hat, longest continuous fourth wall break in history?”

As a new Maple Leafs/Blue Jays fan, there’s a stark difference online between a Blue Jays loss and a Maple Leafs anything.

Such positive vibes around the Jays, meanwhile Leafs fans online are trying to set Berube on fire even if the leafs win. I just have fun watching them play regardless 🤷🏻‍♀️

Did my best to avoid my abusive ex for 8 years despite living in the same city. Took a day trip to a different city 2 hours away and saw her at the train station waiting for the same train back home

wtf did I do to anger god today? 🍳💀

Guy loudly threatened me with corrective r*pe multiple times for 10 minutes on the district line a month or so ago. Every man just stood there watching.

Good job actually doing something.

And now I’m sad we’ll likely never get Miracleman: The Dark Age, at least not without money going to a giant POS.

As someone who has always been ambivalent to actively disliking of watching sports - holy shit the NHL is good. Gone from enjoying the Nottingham Panthers game every year on NYE to an active hockey watcher. Go leafs go!

Petition to rename the Nashville Predators to the Tennessee Pedos

Someone needs to tell Microsoft that “sunset coming” isn’t a weather update, it’s just the truth of every day.

Hearsay, or something

If it were a race against yourself, why are there other people?? Checkmate liberal.

I resent being born in 1994. I gained proper consciousness right around the 2008 financial crash, which means my hazy memories of sunlit rooms aren’t just nostalgia goggles - it genuinely was a better time.

My later years can’t live up to the promises of my youth.

LEAVE ME AND MY BECK ALBUMS ALONE 😭

Putting aside how much I love Ella/Princess Mia - wtf is that Balenciaga shirt? Are people so devoid of personalities that they need to buy a fake metal/alt band tee from a fashion brand instead of just buying a shirt from a band they kind of like?

They’ve really captured the deranged joy I’d have watching a tiny man being yelled at by a large parrot. I’ve never related to a comic cover harder.

Horror/Comedy short film: Surprise Surprise but every wish Cilla Black grants is some monkey paw curse that’s needlessly cruel and over the top.

Genuinely one of my favourite horrors in a “well that was deeply upsetting” kind of way

Green for the environment
Green for the herb
And green for the tax revenue (this would work better if it were American dollars we collected)

Once more the Green Party is actually convincing me to give money to a political party for the first time in my life with the introduction of legalising weed.

If you use an LLM to engage with your kid, don’t have kids.

If you use an LLM to tell stories, learn to read and visit a book store.

If you use an LLM to do anything that takes shorter or longer than 5 minutes of mild thinking, stop and try to reclaim what makes you a human.

Aren’t you the person constantly Starmer praise-posting? The man who has been chasing right and doing nothing but talking about migration instead of things like wealth inequality because he desperately wants to please the same corporate masters as Farage?

I don’t understand many of these words, but you should always make something if it’s something you’d like to see 🖤✨

That time of year I can change my name on socials to a Batman-themed pun with the excuse of Halloween.