Stompy

Meme showing six logical operators illustrated with jack-o'-lantern images. trick OR treat trick AND treat trick XOR treat trick NOR treat trick NAND treat trick XNOR treat

The Andrew formerly known as Prince.

Two ponies lead me up a fern-flanked path on Dartmoor, while trying to make it seem all exciting and mysterious, when really all there is at the end of it is a branch of Screwfix

Often you’ll be walking on Dartmoor & some ponies will be like “Follow us, we will lead you to the castle where the wizard lives & life is perfect!” My advice, from experience, is to ignore them. Ponies are known liars who will make up any old shit to briefly relieve the vast boredom of their lives.

This remains the funniest way to hear about an internet outage, though.

i swear half the effort with a good heist is working out how they did it. always an uphill challenge

So, people are going to have to pass A level english to live here are they? I hope they study what I did at A level, Translations by Brian Friel, about the colonial evil of the English forcing people to adopt the English language

And once again I click an advert for an amazing item of clothing to find out it’s the kids range.

Stop advertising kids stuff to me. Adults want fun things too!

Now I have to find some cherry shaped ear muffs that will fit me …..

Badenoch and Co see education only as a means to a massive income in some soul destroying career.

Devoid of imagination and the power of knowledge they view life entirely through the prism of the CV.

My advice always is to study what interests you and the rest will follow

Well I just read a Joe Biden post about Jane Goodall and my first thought was “AH HA they used AI because it spelled organise wrong”

I’m so tired I briefly forgot American spelling was real.

Microwave ovens should be illegal. Somehow we've managed to microwave and oven garlic dough balls at the same time. They are weapons now. They'd kill Goliath if thrown. Could use them in cannons to fuck up the French. Absolutely lethal

I struggle because I enjoy preparing the mise en place more than I enjoy the cooking bit. Even worse I enjoy saying mise en place even more than that.

Mise en place. Mise en place. Send help I can’t stop.

Hi! We've made the Put This In Your Ear Object. It is the ideal size and shape to put in your ear, feels really nice when you put it in your ear, and can be used to clean out earwax, by putting it in your ear. Just one thing, though. Under NO circumstances should you put this in your ear.

The Hampstead ponds have REPEATEDLY voted to include trans women. But the officious pricks at Sex Matters don’t care what other women think and are forcing a public consultation anyway. Throw the ponds some support.

As we’re celebrating Jim Henson, here’s lots of little Muppet doodles!

If you're opposed to anti-fascists, what does that make you again?

Fuck knows that I did to get the “dude bro” version of the internet this week but every single advert on YouTube, or my podcasts, is some tedious bloke telling me about crypto.

Some people have trouble interpreting abstract art. For example, many men can't see Mary's head in the design of this statue.

So Apple have FINALLY released a brightly coloured iPhone Pro and the choices are navy or bright orange.

Wow I feel so spoiled. 😐 #AppleEvent #iPhone

Letting go of the school holidays must be hard. I know this because there is currently a kid playing outside on his scooter in a literal thunderstorm. School tomorrow so can’t waste the last day of scoot freedom.

STAND DOWN, PADDINGTON.
YOU CAN SIT THIS ONE OUT.

He’s not been golfing in 16 days. They’re definitely Weekend At Bernies-ing him

If he is dead, I just feel sorry for the formerly second dumbest person in the world

Americans are just on the verge of accepting it’s probably not true and going to bed when suddenly all the Brits wake up and start hooting and hollering

Old Soviet joke for today:

A man walks into a newsstand every day, looks around, and leaves.

After a long time of this, the owner says “Can I help you find something?”

“I’m looking for the obituaries.”

“The obituaries are in the back of the newspaper, comrade.”

“Not the one I’m looking for.”

Preserved Fish - Wikipedia

I've been awake for two hours with insomnia and just learned that there was an American businessman called Preserved Fish and now you all know it too

en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Preserv...

For easy removal! And for the Kappa Slappa badge of pride 😄

i find this image so fascinating. it is both a literal example of authoritarianism but also a second-hand reproduction of the aesthetics of other authoritarian states. it's like a simulacra of authoritarianism whose purpose is to attempt to make the simulacra real.

I want a jogger set. But I don’t like any of the approximately 200 I’ve looked at. This has fully broken the adverts in my life as I’m now being served ads for fictional tracksuits. Fully made up, linked to websites that don’t work. I think I feel almost proud?

Screen shot of Neil Fish posting "your dad shouts at hotels" is an insult the kids at my nephew's school use on each other.

I'm ded 💀 😂 😂 😂