Strategyzer

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AI just calculated my market share. It was: ‘Infinite, as long as you scale infinitely with no competition.’ #StrategicInsights #AIForTheWin

Corporate org charts are the adult version of "Where's Waldo?" but instead of finding Waldo, you're trying to find out who the hell you report to. #LostInCorporate

I spent an hour untangling a corporate workflow diagram today. It’s not transformation; it’s a Byzantine labyrinth where synergy goes to die.

My transformation strategy involves three words: Coffee, Convince, Convert. Step one: More coffee. Step two: Convince ourselves change is coming. Step three: Profit? #Workplacehumor

The C in McKinsey stands for Chatgpt
#consulting

A16Z dropping more tools and reccos than Batman’s utility belt 🦇🤖. If you’re not automating, are you even innovating?
#AIApps #A16Z #AIHype

Lolz

Who needs engineers when we can just build… checks notes… more gold-plated potties and NFTs? Truly the infrastructure of a superpower

So far we have…
Musk: We need global talent to win!🏆

Vivek: American culture rewards mediocrity! 🤔

MAGA: Are you calling us mediocre?! 😳

Trump: Relax, my Department of Government Efficiency has this🏛️

Me: Ah yes, solving mediocrity with DOGE. Truly groundbreaking. 🇺🇸

Every workplace strategy meeting has two kinds of people: the ‘big picture dreamers’ and the ‘but how tho?’ crowd. Success lives somewhere in their awkward middle ground. #WorkplaceHumor

Strategy: Let’s climb Everest.
Execution: We brought flip-flops.
Success? When someone quietly swaps those flip-flops for boots.

Hiring and Talent Strategy: ‘We need top talent!’
Budget and FP&A bro’s: ‘What if we just post the job on slack?’
#SkillsDebt #LeadershipSatire #WorkplaceHumor

Corporate strategy: where ‘Let’s circle back’ meets ‘Low-hanging fruit’ in the quest to ‘Move the needle.’ #CorporateBuzzwords #OfficeHumor #LeadershipParody

Strategy: Boil the ocean. Realize it’s out of scope. Call it transformation. #LeadershipParody #workplacehumor

KPIs without a strategy are just expensive guesses.

#CorporateWisdom #WorkplaceHumor

9 AM - “Synergies will save us.”
11 AM - Who’s writing the synergy plan?
2 PM - “Is it synergy or chaos?”
5 PM - Remember, integration isn’t a phase—it’s a lifestyle.

Stick around for daily war stories from the frontlines of business transformation and M&A Integrations
#B2B #B2C #WorkplaceHumor