electrolysis on vent

but i cant celebrate anything knowing no one actually takes me seriously

i hope i can travel to europe someday. and bleed out in snow but we'll come back to that thought later

they said i left so easily, at the drop of a hat. what they left out was the years i spent speaking my mind, wanting things to be better, and then being ignored. and having to apologize for feeling anything complicated.

this is the final leg

perhaps this will be my downfall. or perhaps i wish someone could see past this, and not hold me against it. it's not that i don't care, i do care... but i haven't been the same.

i havent been able to be in touch deeply with my feelings as i did 5 years ago... i do miss being like that but every time i remember nothing lasts i just figured it's not worth the effort. so i continue pretending. knowing damn well there's a void in my heart.

i guess subconsciously im still pretending, navigating the world logically and choosing options that wont make me use up too much energy down the line. all the while knowing my feelings ended when my real friends left in 2022

nothing i want more in the world than being cherished and appreciated

i guess it probably means nothing deep except just a means to get the request done....

something tells me I'll never allow myself to be vulnerable again

i guess listening to how condescending they sound is just irritating also i dont care for living life the way they did. i just got a stable job and i will just have my way in it for the time being. the job market has been too awful for me to hop around.

always so exhausting but not in a bad way, not in a good way either i guess

there are some days that I feel like giving up my creative skills because.... imagine a life without it... without the pressure once someone finds out....

me thinking someone really wanted to spend time with me n it turns out they wanted me to create shit 😂

in the end i continue to live as a liar

i guess in the end I'll always want to be loved. that's it

is it bad to want to be someone's wife...?

feeling sad now ... i dont want to be a part of anything, just myself

im such a conflict resolution initiater

saw a tweet about some guy getting bottom surgery during a manic episode n they dont regret it despite being cis so like new found hope for humanity actually

just felt like I've been stunned speechless and idk what i want to do about it anymore...

i wish twin was available this weekend at least I'd have a distraction

well... as they say an eye for an eye, right?

i wonder how long do i have to stay here like this

wondering if i seem like an asshole for pretending like the silent treatment isnt there

thta was so mean, to say i didnt deserve any of the good things

i want to be twin.... not someone's manager

Very Frutiger-Aero-style chat between two cute dogs and a cat. Text: hey guys im happy ur online. how are u?? just another wonderful day surfing the net. listening to my favorite rockin tunes as always. cool i am just relaxing at home i'm having soda. i said ass crack today can you guys say it to. no one else i know is going in hell when they die. (other swears are ok it’s mainly just that)

if i dont chase and instead ignored everything i can push rank tomorrow :3

there's a me that's back at sea.....and i just want to tell you that i want to slow down