Spanny Tampson

Lovely. Now more of our suckers and losers are gonna have headaches. Last time the felon/rapist was the president, my wife was hit with ballistic missiles from Iran. We will deal with the repercussions of her traumatic brain injury for the rest of our lives. God bless our troops! Fuck off cheeto!

OMG CORY BOOKER READ MY SISTERS STORY OUT LOUD ON THE FLOOR I AM SHAKING @booker.senate.gov

Everyone go thank Elon for my thrice deployed, twice injured veteran sister's service.

You never fail to credit Sarah and Suzanne when acknowledging your own successes. It's very classy.

Gonna be hard to top Better Call Salt.

Guess who has two thumbs, speaks limited French, and has new labral tears in ✨ both ✨ hips?

This moi.

#blessed #dontgetlyme

Fucking right you will.

You are Simone. And this is your Pearl of Doha. Should you have to go out and compete with a kidney stone? Absolutely not. But you can and you will and we will be here for you unconditionally, whether you land on your feet or your face. We love you.

Every day I wonder how that red flannel bitch from the Pete Buttigieg v college kids debate feels about her choices

My 13th reason

It's an unknowable mystery

Also "her training and rigid diet combine to keep her tiny." Well done, 1995.

Also Nadia's interpretation that a 14 yr old pretending to play the piano on FX is considered "flirting."

Note the *surf virtually* note. Really dates things.

So last night before bed I was looking through old newspaper articles, as one does, and came across this relic of pure creepiness.

Consider @gymcastic.bsky.social Commentary Hall of Shame.

Then guess how old the subject of this article is.

Do we report as misinformation or?

Stalking your socials for Lizzie pics was the highlight of my week and absolutely the best use of my Saturday

Pouring one out for one of the @gymterpets.bsky.social 's classiest, most beloved good girls.

Lizzie was a gift. Thank you @dvorameyers.bsky.social for sharing this beautiful soul with us.

Fuck the typos. If typos are a measurement of the loss and bereavement of one of this world's most beloved beacons of joy and light then d9eo6d6dydgg655w

I do not accept this. I do not accept this at all.

No one chooses the dead parent card, but once it's given to you, you're allowed to play it wherever whenever for the rest of time. It's just how the rules were written.

You know that feeling when you have so many questions that you can't think of a single one?

Fascinating! Restricted how?

Was Dr Pepper busy?

Somewhere I have this image photoshopped where Martha is next to the karate kid

Also, game design? Like my kid will want me to play some game with him and every game inexplicably needs 23 in-game hours of nighttime. Unrelated to gameplay, just for funsies. Make everything pitch black for a while. I can definitely see things and I definitely won't get a migraine