Tim Mossey

Just listen to what Andrew’s nickname was amongst royal protection officers.

I hate that so many politicians are addicted to drama, rather than just governing.

#MacintoshComputerDay 🖥️

Tweet exchange in which a photo of Anne Hathaway is posted by @TheRoyalSerf, to which user @VvSchweetz24 replies "@grok...do your thing. @Grok replies: Anne Hathaway isn't Jewish; she was raised Catholic but left the church. She married Adam Shulman (who is Jewish) in 2012 and celebrates Jewish holidays with their kids. SHe's played Jewish roles, like in "Armageddon Time."

pretty sure he meant the other thing, grok, but very cool that those are your two things

[Scene is a SCIENCE RESEARCH FACILITY where two white coated scientists are standing at a desk of instruments and controls in front of a one way mirroe, looking at a mocked-up drinks party scene in the next room. In that room is a man named Dan and a woman, holding glasses of wine and apparently having a conversation. Dan, however, has a hi tech helmet strapped to his head, with wires extruding from it and leading to the instruments next door. Dan when we see him close up has a slightly dull expression and is droning on, while the lady listens, smiling politely]. [Scientists looking through the glass] SCIENTIST 1: And is this one of your patients? SCIENTIST 2: Yes SCIENTIST 1: This is Dan. Dan was born completely incapable of asking people about themselves at parties. DAN [close up, droning on while the woman listens]: ...So yeah 1 like implement creative solutions... and I work with clients to design a... and I'm writing a novel about like this guy... SCIENTIST 1 [Looking at a screen showing Dan's brain with a hole in the middle]: As you can see, despite talking about himself for the past two hours, the part of the brain which gives a toss about other people's lives shows no activity at all. SCIENTIST 1 [bending over a microphone on the desk and pressing the intercom button]: Dan... Ask the lady... what her job is. [Dan pauses.] [Dan continues to pause] DAN: What's your job. LADY [smiling humbly]: Oh, I'm a murderer? Well, contract killer, you know, haha... [Show dan, silent] [Show lady, smiling, waiting for a response] [Show dan, still silent] [Show Dan, slowly opening his mouth to speak DAN: And- [But Dan falls silent again] [Show Lady looking slightly desperate now, silently willing him to continue] [Still nothing from Dan. But then...] DAN: ...And yeah part of my job is I coordinate media content to across platforms to create - SCIENTIST 1: Fascinating SCIENTIST 2: Isn't it [Ends]

I have met so many Dans, and female Dans, and they always blow my mind

MAKE yourself cry before you start peeling onions, perhaps by thinking about the death of an elderly relative, or how you are a failure in your family's eyes. Do not let the onion win. Mr Penny Pusher, Blackpool Arcade

subscriptions >>> shop.viz.co.uk/viz351bs

Tankies gonna tank...

"Did you get that picture of JRR Tolkien for the calendar?"

"Yeah, all sexy just like you asked for."

"Sorry, what...?"

(H/t @kaiserofcrisps.bsky.social )

E-mail Addresses That Would Be Really Annoying to Give Out Over the Phone by Michael Ward MikeUnderscore2004@yahoo.com MikeAtYahooDotCom@hotmail.com Mike_WardAllOneWord@yahoo.com AAAAAThatsSixAs@yahoo.com One1TheFirstJustTheNumberTheSecondSpelledOut@hotmail.com

pound for pound this might be the funniest thing ever written

Well done, a late entry in dumbest thing anyone's said 2025.

Tankies gonna tank...

10 panel comic about Dominic Cummings being a terrible children's entertainer who does a puppet show using dog turds and thinks he's a Machiavellian genius rather than a complete failure.

Every time Dominic Cummings spouts forth again I am reminded of @daveyjones.bsky.social's Dogshit Puppet Master from 2021 in @vizcomic.bsky.social

Throwback to when I added more sound fx to make this worse.

Cheeseburger-eating surrender monkeys 🇺🇸🍔🐒

Call it what it is: betrayal.

Engineering Equipment for Ukraine Help Liberty Ukraine Foundation reach their goal by donating or sharing with your friends.

Hello everyone, friends, followers, and supporters of Ukraine

I'm starting a new fundraiser for $120,000 to help Ukraine with engineering equipment, heavy trucks with cranes, and excavators

Please watch the video and read to understand why this matters

donation link www.paypal.com/donate?campa...

Might read a book. 📕

Only joking , going to look at my phone while a shit film plays in the background that I’ve seen at least 3 times and eat sugar until the anxiety is so overwhelming I have to go to bed. 😉

We've had to survive Steve McManaman tonight!

after careful study, I believe only people born between 1975 and 1995 should be allowed to use the internet

When I was 7, my teacher told us to write an article about “world cultures” for school over the weekend. I remembered it late on Sunday so in a panic I made up something called the "Icelandic Fish Festival", figuring said teacher wouldn’t know either way.

The most shocking thing in that article was the cost of the lunch the two of them ate, nearly $400!!!

[Scene is ANCIENT GREECE - where SOCRATES and PLATO and others are sitting round, thinking] 1 SOCRATES: Plato.. PLATO: Yes Socrates? 2 SOCRATES: Can you tell me, are you human? PLATO: Why… yes, Socrates 3 SOCRATES: And would you agree, Plato, that a human knows what a chariot is? PLATO: Um, yep 4 SOCRATES: So you can tell me, then 5 [Socrates produces a papyrus, showing a drawing of the corner of a chariot wheel] SOCRATES: *Is that a chariot*? 6 PLATO: Well that’s more just a bit of wheel 7 SOCRATES: So not a *chariot*. PLATO: No. 8 SOCRATES: [Producing another papyrus with the full drawing of the chariot, chopped into boxes] So if a man were challenged to “tap the boxes containing chariots to prove you’re human” when he was just trying to check his ClubCard points... *where could he tap*? 9 PLATO: Well you can’t tap any of them really 10 SOCRATES: So are we not human? PLATO: ‘Spose not. 11 [Bleak pause] 12 PLATO: I’ll get the hemlock SOCRATES: Yeah [ends]

Authors hate this one trick...

One of my all time fav Simpsons moment!

This is my regular reminder to everyone that jstor is open to the general public now; a free account there will give you access to 100 papers a year.

I do not want the video. I will never watch the video. I usually won’t even give the video the effort of complaint.

I just want to read the news story. Give me the text. This would be my Ted Talk but that would be text too.

Big day for me. A box I've been saving for over 3 years was just perfect for something

I can

I can

Micheal Shannon and crew doing REM and actual Peter Buck on one week! #REM

YouTube video by RBStems2 revolver but it's only bass and drums

I got a minute into this before I thought WAIT WHY DID YOU PLAY THAT www.youtube.com/watch?v=eVGp...

Tweet from @tomgara Randomly on this subject, my (Egyptian) wife had never heard of Stonehenge when I mentioned it recently, so I showed her photos of it, assuming she’d recognise the look but not the name etc, and she was just like, this is pathetic, your ancestors were small and weak

Remembering this great tweet on the Summer Solstice