Fiona Applebees 🍎🐝

You there. I want you to say, aloud, at some point today "I'm really glad I'm good at..." And then you're gonna say something you think you do pretty well.

If you don't think you do anything pretty well, I want you to say "one little thing that makes me unique is..."

And if you can't do either?

❤️ I bet. It’s really hard.
Are they keeping you updated?

Giving my legs the day off

*staying in bed

I’m sorry! It’s hard when we are so far away. Does he have anyone close? Hopefully you can facetime once he is stabilized

Do you talk to your eggs while you cook them or are you a cunt?

I was really betting on that asteroid

Welp. Gonna need more paper towels.

This reality is far too real for my liking

You can't play video games all day unless you start in the morning

I would do absolutely anything to sleep better except go to bed at a reasonable hour be serious please

Esther’s in the hospital and asked me to bring her something to eat. She says the hospital food is testing her will to live. So, of course I took her something home made because we need her alive for our yearly bingo tournament.

Running late to the 10 o’clock mass because I stayed up late watching a Hallmark movie. Apparently, a big city girl and a handsome hometown hero really can find love!

🫂
I’m sorry to hear this. Are you close in proximity? Can you go there?

Sometimes I ask your mom to dress slutty and I take her to Walmart to show her off…

Pouring milk over a bowl of leftover candy

you're like that secret track on an album

Hello Darkness my old friend, soon you’ll start at 4pm.

where is the breakfast candy

I always run my fingers thru random mens’ hairs when I greet them I give it a little tug at the root and stick my tongue in their ear As friends.

happy november

Black and white photo of a Halloween reveler dressed as a ghost, with the classic bedsheet and cutout eyeholes.

The walk of shame

Supermarket Sweep made grocery shopping look a lot more fun than it is

the lion does not concern himself with the random scary pains that become more frequent the older he gets

I hate going to see Dr. McIntyre. Seems like I go in for one problem and I come out on seventeen different pills and a low-sodium-no-taste diet. At this rate, I need a pill organizer the size of a suitcase!

I, too, am looking for the old woman who will speak to me of my fate upon looking at the scar where the wolf bit me

Deep Vein Trombone Sis.