Benson

He was looking for Jay Z.

"Hello poachers... poachers hello! Good news - we have 48 new rhinos at this ranch in Uganda. Pull up!"

🗞️As an old newspaperman, this Mark Twain adage is ringing a bell this morning:

"Never pick a fight with someone who buys ink by the barrel."

🗞️The Atlantic is handling these inept, lying enemies of the people with the truth ... and nothing but the truth.

I need multiple cold beers. What a long week.

Ayt ayt 😂

Is "loose unit" a euphemism for "whore"? Because I will be using it a lot going forward

Elon Musk brought his kid to the Oval Office as a PR move, to soften his image, and now everyone has new Musk to hate. 🤦🏾‍♂️

I'm watching the Black Hawk Down doccie and I had no idea how badly the US fucked around and found out in Mogadishu. They were rocked by untrained civilians with rusty AKs.

He looks a lot like Peter de Villiers.

YouTube video by Organized Crime and Corruption Reporting Project The Chilling Story of Serbia's Human Slaughterhouse

We have these people in Constantia and Bedfordview.
youtu.be/NZZHctPA22c?...

No person on this planet can make a better sandwich than me. Tell every employee of every Sandwich Baron that their arms are too short to box with God.

Every three weeks, I get an email from Maverick begging for money to support independent and investigative journalism. I'm getting sick of it. Your business model cannot be grovelling.

Put together a home-made pesticide but forgot to check the wind direction before spraying. I now have baby pesticides growing in my stomach 😭

zeteo.com/p/5-things-y...

History buffs, give me validation.

"Rise up Mitoma, there's no comfort in the EPL"

This is an incredible joke that needed Yokinari S*gawara to be South Korean.

I had an incredible Korea-Japan War joke when that Southampton chap tackled Mitoma. They're both Japanese.

Your words of the day are so 'dope'.

(Covers 'good', 80s New York drugs and general fly shit)

I'm listening to house music and it just dawned me: If Jeffrey Dahmer had moved his rampage into the state next door, we probably wouldn't have this delicious genre. S/O to the Wisconsin police.

Stilfontein standoff: Teen illegal miner wrapped gold worth R80k around his genitals - police | News24 An underage illegal miner who emerged from Shaft 10 in Stilfontein, along with other teenagers, had gold wrapped in a white cloth around his penis, according to police.

"An underage illegal miner who emerged from Shaft 10 in Stilfontein along with other teenagers on Thursday morning, was found with gold wrapped in a white cloth around his penis, according to police."

I really enjoy the progressiveness of the question "what's wrong with you?" It implies there's definitely something wrong with you. Now we need to move forward and determine what it is so we can get you some help.

How do we make mosquitos and flies go away forever? How do we get them poached to extinction? Should we start a rumour that they're a delicacy so that Vietnamese and Chinese markets can intervene? 😩

Mmusi Maimane must be so cut up about his boy facing jail time.

There's no human being on earth who can make a better sandwich than me. No one.

Leon Schreiber's Home Affairs took one month to give me a replacement ID card. Pathetic.

Few things amuse me like the "Women's Power Brunch" scam. They're taking "She-EOs" and "Sheroes" for everything. 😂

Now he's using steel tongs. Does this man not own any wooden or plastic utensils??

Love this. ‘Queue’ is from the French word with the same spelling (but pronounced as ‘kuh’) meaning an animal’s long tail.

In the 18th and 19th centuries it also referred to a pigtail and was sometimes spelled as ‘cue’, which gave us the name of the long thin rod used in snooker.

www.news24.com/citypress/ne...