The Orchid Show

It’s okay to be glad that restaurants are doing stuff like this AND absolutely furious about the utter failure of the United States government.

I (and others in the house) have been repeatedly endangered by a dishonest family member and it could theoretically be a matter of life and death at this point so even any leads would be deeply appreciated. This room would be exclusively for me, nobody else would be coming with.

What you're imagining is only a fraction of it, but thank you.

I (and others in the house) have been repeatedly endangered by a dishonest family member and it could theoretically be a matter of life and death at this point so even any leads would be deeply appreciated. This room would be exclusively for me, nobody else would be coming with.

This is a considerable ask and I don't expect anything to come of it, but nothing ventured, nothing gained, so here goes: are there any COVID-conscious people in the Greater Toronto Area who have a spare room (preferably non-basement and with ensuite) to let on at least a temporary basis?

The president, forcing anal sex on a child in front of the White House press pool: "Folks, I don't know what to tell you, it's AI."

I have to watch it with the candy these days but 100%.

me, 7, candy enjoyer: "I love Halloween."
me, 37, slut enjoyer: "I love Halloween."

Digipak packaging of Welcome's 'Bienvenue' compact disc (Seventh, 1996).

Hey, #CDFriday! Christian Vander is by some number of intimate accounts a weird fascist so hopefully I can butterfly effect him into dropping dead by spinning my long-neglected copy of Welcome's 'Bienvenue' (Seventh, 1996) this afternoon.

I'm not even a furry but Whazzat Kangaroo hmu.

How much coke do you think there was on the set of Zoobilee Zoo on any given day?

'Get ED Help?'

Ha! Sorry, junk mail: my dick stays perfectly soft all on its own.

Wouldn't be shocked if the ADL is financing this guy under the table to help them revise history and say 'see, proof that Hitler was left wing!' to better suit their anti-Palestinian agenda.

Most wife guys only have one wife, which is kind of pathetic when you really think about it.

Don't fuck with us, we're The Underage Boyz.

Dance Dance Randynewman

broke: stephen king's 'it'
woke: kiddie kiddie gang bang

The original Far Side Cow Tools Cartoon by Gary Larson. A cow stands on its hind legs behind a table, staring blankly at the viewer from behind its heavy brow ridge. On the table are four crudely made tools: a lump, a lump with an offset crooked handle, a long stick with hooked prongs at the end, and a crude handsaw with irregular teeth. In the background a barn sits on a hill. Caption reads, "Cow tools."

43 years ago today, readers the world over opened their newspapers and gazed upon cow tools for the first time. happy birthday cow tools. you look great.

One of my best friends has a condition that predisposes them to paranoia and the saddest thing is having to reaffirm to them that, yes, the current state of reality is this bad and it's not just their brain playing tricks on them.

Genuinely would not wish my health on anyone.

I don't know if anyone really noticed or cared - they probably thought 'oh, the music is spooky', grabbed a piece of candy or twelve from the bowl, and went on their way.

Maybe if I played it on the last day of April instead...

Did precisely that with Ready For The House one year.

Combination spelling bee/gallows.

You, a loser: owns a home, has a family
Me, a chad: making chicken chili a foot from my bed

I’m horrified in disappointment.

Just played a bit of Blaster and WOW!

People also ask [three dots} ____________________________________________ What would happen if you touched poop?

Who? Who asked?

If this person also unironically refers to the group's founder as 'ex-Black Sabbath drummer Bev Bevan', they are my hero.

The law of averages suggests that at least one person loves Electric Light Orchestra Part Two but is completely unaware of Electric Light Orchestra.