krista yep

These are the 4 things AI can do well:

•Clean up your email inbox (badly)
•Give my shittiest neighbor (Alan) something to talk about at a party
•Tell a 12 yr old to kill himself
•Incinerate a school at 10:16 AM on a Tuesday

You can see why we need to base our economy around it

Somewhere up there in doggie heaven, a wirehaired pointer named Cricket (née Noem) is having the best day of her afterlife.

ending her career lying about an orwell quote while the entire room is getting news notifications about how she’s been fired and clearly doesn’t know it, perfect

Even Orwell didn't think of this shit.

"No stupid rules of engagement" is how you shoot down three of your own F-15s in one day. Just a shocking display of martial ineptitude.

Again: trans people are a very small minority. If your *KNEEJERK* reaction when you encounter these rare & beautiful butterflies is *ANYTHING* other than “What can I do to make your life a little brighter?” you need to interrogate yourself. Impede the life of trans ppl & you’re in danger, from me. ❤️

Hahaha sure bring your marriage certificate, normal country

A Reuters photographer captured this image of a page from Pam Bondi's "burn book," which she used to counter any questions from Democratic lawmakers during an unhinged hearing today.

It looks like the DOJ monitored members of Congress’s searches of the unredacted Epstein files.

Just wow.

People are like, "I don't understand why Lindsey Vonn didn't just stop." I don't know. You're 39 and it took bigotry for you to move on from Harry Potter

it’s so cringe that white people couldn’t tell these children apart 😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫😵‍💫

he looks so healthy are you sure. i was just kidding previously, he actually looks like a dead body that is full of mold and bugs

Damn I was wrong this seems totally legit.

New ringtone just dropped

We Sat Down For An Interview With Greg Bovino But Halfway Through We Realized It Was Just A Really Fucked-Up Sixth Grader

Donald Trump boldly “making the call” at the Mar-A-Lago situation room (conference table with gauzy black curtains around it and a monitor showing a Twitter search for “Venezuela”). Pitbull’s “I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)” is audible in the background.

Somewhere, a federal public defender realizes she's on call to do the President of Venezuela's initial appearance on Monday.

JD Vance @JDVance And PSA for everyone saying this was "illegal":

me being dragged out of chilis happy hour

lol lol lol lol lol lol lol

Spotify wrapped but for texts you’ve sent to establish why you’re not answering their call right now

This was one of the best days online. Up there with finding out that Glen Rice slept with Sarah Palin

The gift of prophecy

This might be the single funniest thing that has happened during this incredibly cursed year

I regret that they will never have twins named ozzy and izzy lizza-nuzzi

AAAAAHHHHHHHHHH

[blink]

QAnon: The powerful pedophiles have invented elaborate codes to secretly discuss their crimes that require decades of interpretation

Actual powerful pedophile: Hey Jeff hope this email find you well last week was great so when we meeting up to do pedophilia again

look, I’ll grant them this: it is a Situation.