MutantsMichael

I know Ross is taking the piss here but honestly at this point I don't understand anyone who's not unironically in favor of Voluntary Human Extinction

eternally relevant tho

Remember to brush your teeth kids (dinosaur with toothbrush)

Don't let existential terror get in your way

Take it from me! I know my kind will die

Old comic

In the court of the Burger King [thunderous riff]

Today has been awful but seeing Dubai in flames does cheer me up a whole lot

I spent the entire day pretty much offline touching grass and I STILL had a severe depersonalization/derealization episode so there's my lesson learned

every single person who works for this paper should kill themselves. yes that guy included

huh it seems like no one can make a shitty reply to this post. weird lemme check my settings

thinking about warren standing and clapping for this last week. haha that was a wild night huh

miss me yet

The diplomats are in a flurry. There is a shower of “Notes”, “Reports”, “Statements”; ministers whisper behind the backs of the crowned puppets who…are “working for peace”. But their “subjects” know perfectly well that when crows flock together there must be a smell of carrion about.

Slaughtering a bunch of little girls in the hopes of provoking what has the potential to be the most catastrophic war in decades. Another sacrifice to Moloch

Child-murdering savages. Fuck those blood-drinking demons, may someone wipe them from the face of the earth

what if we rebrand burning down army recruitment centers/ROTC as “70s pop culture fandom”

may the demon empires "Israel" and the United States be utterly annihilated

there is no hell hot enough for these bellicose, cruel, insider trading, bloodthirsty pedophile freaks

all we had to do was stop sending weapons to aid in a genocide. but that'd hurt congressional stock portfolios so someone decided not to. here we are, once again back in 2003 without even the specious links to 9/11 or what the fuck ever, while our president is dog walked by a foreign prime minister.

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The end-of-the-month bills are scaring the living shit out of me. Please drop a buck or two in the bucket this weekend if you can.

why not just go insane

This could be the bubble bursting. "Could" is doing a lot of heavy lifting, but the whole AI sector is so financially entangled that the knock-on effects of this might be catastrophic.

(In this context, "catastrophic" means "awesome and hilarious")

"It's 10 PM. Do you know where your Gumby is?"

The score on my timeline this afternoon is Max Landis with 6 appearances, Rachel Dolezal: 2

thoroughly noided before five on a Friday afternoon, that's the MutantsMichael promise

This is definitely a time I wish @corpseinorbit.bsky.social posted here, I would love to get his take on this

Anyway, this "Chrch" is nothing but an extension of the deadly blackmail networks that gird the planet that we are now seeing the guts of every day and was given special remit by the CIA to work Hollywood the way the old dirt-diggers and studio fixers did

It also makes Tom Cruise's relative silence since the disastrous Oprah interview make a lot of sense. He just does insane death-defying stunts and "saves cinema" now to improve his public image and serve the Commodore

how old am I? bitch I'm so old I had to consciously stop myself having a flashback to Usenet and typing "Co$" in that last post

There seems to be a consensus that a lot of celebrities who publicly broke with the Chrch over the past couple of decades are secretly still in it

Or at least being actively blackmailed to keep them quiet