Amelia Hanslow

Does everyone in my ken deliberately start vacuuming when I ask if I can watch sport or the news. I literally did not turn on telly all day and this is like why? Why do you think vacuuming is cool while I catch up on soccer. I think everyone hates me.

Oooo, cancelling the mid terms. Now there's a decent theory.

Yeah, I'm old enough to remember that being a thing my parents said to me. And it has occurred to me more than once these days that critical thinking and research capabilities are more important than ever. I studied internet research before Google was invented... so that's kinda Medieval Studies?

That could be something to be planned out for. Drinking cheap red wine in front of a train documentary while taking the callouses of my feet. In a dressing gown? I feel that might have to be added in there.

Nothing tickles my funny bone more than being scolded. One of my favourite words. As opposed to scalded. Which is never amusing.

I don't think I should have more Gaviscon. I don't think it's the magic bullet my sore tum requires. And yes, I tried ginger tea and promptly threw it up. Haven't had this sore a tum since a very short and very sharp night in rural Afghanistan when I spent time wondering if stomachs can actually pop

I hope SBS has something appropriate for my 50th. Otherwise it might be splurging on that foot shaving tool that keeps popping up in my FB feed.

My Dad thinks I am super black humoured but my Mum can even rock me. I think I just see humanity and humour in everything. But I wouldn't be the person to align with in a zombie apocalypse. I actually think there aren't enough well written rom coms. The problem is most of them suck.

Oh that does sound interesting. I'd read the book.

Jeez that was my 40th. But I was also watching a real time train journey show. While getting divorced. I take country music to heart.

Yep, that's so a new Bill Callahan album. And there's a point when my heart stops a little bit. And I feel all the feels.

Level of seeking distraction is reading about the Empress Matilda, who turns out to be quite interesting and that Stephen seems like a right prick. And times may be yick right now, but I wouldn't like to be living in The Anarchy, UK. Mildly shite Tasmania is better.

Sweetie likes to collect things on her lounge room bed. Cannae put any food down for one sec and shoes are some kind of ownership.

I'm a fan of better yesterday roses. It's a fact that the aroma is better when they are a bit blown. Happy Day!

Am seeing reporting that Noem was repositioned due to her alleged affair. I have spent a lifetime it seems sticking up for journalism, but I'm having a problem with that take.

One of the best philosophies I've taken on board is to pay forward. I was totally surprised today to get a delivery of my Mum's birthday present I ordered yonks ago. Her bday is not for another month, but now I don't have to scramble around last minute and that's lovely.

Fairly certain family will do their ringing as soon as the news starts.

I have to say one of my pet peeves is highly educated and multilingual spokespersons pretending to not understand questions.

I used to smuggle Guinness in a water bottle to school. Of course that small amount of stout wouldn't have gotten me even tiddly, but it was doing a subversive act that was the point for me for St Paddy's. I don't even know where that came from but it came from somewhere up the tree.

I literally spent a red hot two seconds letting the dog out to do her business and walked back in wheezing like a bagpipe. This is your Hay Fever in Tasmania canary alert.

O. That's awesome news in a week of rather bad news. Merci!

Awww, look I actually couldn't hum a tune of her's but it's very much a safe Celine-vibe. This house is voting for Look Mum No Computer but I don't wish the lovely canary a bad run.

"exquisite intelligence". No, I just can't, no.

There are lots of people who are good sorts who vote in ways that a person doesn't agree with. What is egregious is not that they are of a certain party but that they will reject Australian citizens and Australian children thus perpetuating hate and terrorism. The stance and policy is what matters.

Here's a thought: too much time gets taken up trying to remember WTF initialisms mean and not enough understanding rational for processes. I hope my dumplings are almost ready because my hangry is not helping my patience for this tediousness.

Certified sweetie. Don't get me wrong, I've had the pants scared off me by a few surprise encounters but I really, really dislike flies and mosquitos more.

Akira Otani introduces The Night of Baba Yaga, her English-language debut thriller, translated by Sam Bett. … Fierce, mixed-race fighter Shindo has been kidnapped by the yakuza. After brutally beating... TikTok video by Faber Books

Set aside a couple of hours and rather than clean the kitchen, read The Night of Baba Yaga by Otani Akira #bskybooks - this wee TikTok with the author was all I needed and two pages in to the novel I was happy to sip a jug of ginger tea and go on the novel's roller coaster while the tap dripped.

Not sure I should have chosen The Night of Baba Yaga to read during a bit of bug with fever; or maybe it's a really good feverish read (I'd be surprised if a review at some stage hasn't likened it to a 'feverish' read). It's a proper yakuza bomb and I'm glad I had a good breakfast before starting it

100 children. Because bombs over brains. I had to shout into the ether because I still can't get how and why.

Hurrah, Magda!