Steven Perkins

This is a READ 😭

maybe they’re deliberately lowballing it this year just so they can finish mid-table and be all “see?! We were never cheating, everyone just genuinely loved our last two entries!”

Chotiner: You've made the claim that no one has ever fed you in your life.
My Cat: Maow.
Chotiner: Yet there's food in your dish right now.
My Cat: Maow.
Chotiner: Let's change the subject to the ripped-open bag of sandwich bread on the floor.
My Cat: Maow.
Chotiner: I have read different things.

I also don’t understand why echo chamber is some inherently horrific thing that we all are supposed to be avoiding. I use social media to read and post stuff I think is interesting. I’m not here to like equally expose myself to all viewpoints or whatever.

this is... not a great response

this move will simultaneously increase the average intelligence of the Trump cabinet and the U.S. senate

Westfield Stratford is a great place to go if you want to meet a ton of people who want to go in front of you but also walk slower than you

haha I remember that one too!

Headline of a Q&A in New Yorker formatting Headline: A panicked middle-aged man refuses to tell me directions to the bathroom. Subhed: Please, I just have to pee. I'm in a hurry. By Isaac Chotiner March 4, 2026

Excuse me. Oh, God. Oh, no. Holy shit. Get away from me. I was wondering if you knew where the bathrooms are. Look, I'm ... it's not a crime to scroll through your high school girlfriend's Instagram account. We remained friends after high school! I was at her wedding! It's only natural to see how she's doing.

I'm in a bit of a hurry, and I'm afraid that if I choose the wrong corridor, I'll be late for my train. I think they're down that way, but I'm actually from out of town. Please stop talking to me.

Real quick, though. I agree that it's natural to be interested in an old friend, but aren't you afraid about the message you might be sending by liking a picture of her at the beach from 2015? If that did happen, and I'm only going off your word, it was probably an accident. They put the ... scroll bars or whatever ... close to the thumbs up button. People have been complaining about that for years. I've been complaining about that for years.

Yeah I think I had the same one 😁

oh I had a different version of this one as a kid!

How does an elephant climb an oak tree?
It sits on an acorn - and waits.

How does an elephant get down from an oak tree?
It sits on a leaf and waits until autumn.

This is the funniest thing I’ve ever seen.

💀

hee hee hee

most relatable he’s ever been tbh

BBC news alert: Watch live as Keir Starmer gives up...

Righto.

Favourite thing I learned today: Las Ketchup got their name because their father was a flamenco musician known as El Tomate

Countdown to Keir Starmer saying he didn’t actually mean it, I’m giving it about three days

First five words from Nick Wallis here the truest thing he’s said in several years

🥨🧠

I taught John Prescott how to use a computer after I saw him pointing the mouse at the screen like a remote control

Zack on Laura K

The Green Party has been consistent on our position.

We support the Iranian people in their struggle against the brutal Regime.

And we oppose illegal bombing from the USA and Israel that has already killed countless civilians and risks an all out Regional war.

For those wondering who the MP is for that area and why this is so funny.

“I thought he looked especially happy and wanted to compliment him”

I do not as a rule wish career-ending injuries on young athletes but in this case 🤞🏼🤞🏼

“when I called him ‘gay boy’ I didn’t mean it as a homophobic insult” bro shut the fuck up, of course you did

However, the Football Association has now confirmed that Fletcher, 18, was sent off for calling an opponent "gay boy". "I am truly sorry for the offensive word I used in the heat of the moment," said Fletcher. "I completely understand such language is unacceptable and immediately apologised after the game." Fletcher said a "momentary lapse of character absolutely does not reflect my beliefs or values". The 18-year-old insisted he "had no intention to use the term as a homophobic insult", which the disciplinary commission hearing accepted but felt the player should receive a six-match ban, which has been accepted by the midfielder and his club.

“A momentary lapse of character absolutely does not reflect my beliefs or values”

on the contrary, this is exactly who you are and you deserve to have it follow you around for the rest of your life

I know so much of the country is deeply concerned right now with how this global crisis plays out for Starmer’s Labour Party, great to have this reassurance