Lili Yochana

Brett Goldstein

There are a lot of stories I could tell that I can't post on here, but a lot of times the reaction I get is something like "she did what? What? How do you even?" and, well, she's always been like this.

And I don't even know where she lives for sure? We've been nc for many years. The rest of the family also went nc with her several years ago. I can't believe I'm going to have to explain all this officially (without any of these details because they don't care).

The only way I know of to get those things to happen are if someone (not me - it doesn't work for me) is physically there getting her to do it. I don't know of anyone who could or would and my siblings don't live there anymore. And there's still waiting for the mail to arrive.

In the extremely unlikely event that my mother wanted to send me a copy of her birth certificate, it still wouldn't happen because there's no chance in hell she will do any of that, receive it in the mail, actually open it, take it to a second location, and mail it to me correctly addressed. None.

I am ready to fistfight autocorrect. Again. I do not know how or what is happening.

If there is a "pile of paper" it goes in the trash. Does she look through it first? No. Does she open any of the mail? Also no. She sees paper, she throws it in the trash. Has she thrown away vitally important irreplaceable paper? Many, many times. She's always been like this.

So she said she wanted to travel the country when she "retired" some years ago I don't even know if she has a fixed address? But she also doesn't do mail. As in, she received mail, she stacks it up unopened, and at some point it reaches "pile of paper status." She has a phobia-level hatred of that.

The process is that she'd have to either create an account online (no), fill out a form online (no), scan her id and attach a copy (extra no), and put in her payment info, or print a paper form (no), fill it out (no), attach a check (definitely no), and mail it (super no). And get it mailed to her.

I mean, you have to laugh at the timing at least? Impeccable. Anyway, the chances I could get a copy of my mother's birth certificate are about zero? I don't know how to explain this.

Haha, so I'd started getting the documents for my cousin (who hasn't really committed one way or the other after initially asking?) and I have a bunch now but I wasn't expecting to need them for myself? But our immigration lawyer now thinks I have to do this and can't apply for citizenship.

Wow, Off Menu 315 is the most autistic thing I've ever heard (complimentary). Also I laughed until I cried.

What do you mean "unobtanium" wasn't a joke?

Smart! Could even follow/unfollow the sun that way, too.

Pretty normal in the States, unfortunately. Hope they're not getting ideas from there.

I kind of assumed they were taking it with them.

I'm so picky about grapes which is not good given I live on an island and there aren't many available here. I like red but with more than one note and not just tart, I guess?

My face when I needed to order a record from BANQ, but the form doesn't actually work in Google Translate except some of the French only comes up after you enter something and I kind of lost it. Finally managed to submit, but they just now came back saying they changed the fee to $350 CAD. 🥲

‘Heated Rivalry’ Creator Jacob Tierney Gets Netflix Series Order For Alexander The Great & Aristotle Drama; Jason Bateman’s Aggregate Films Producing Exclu: 'Heated Rivalry' creator Jacob Tierney gets Netflix series order for Alexander The Great drama based on Annabel Lyon book. Jason Bateman is EP.

OMG! All my interests in one show! Heated Rivalry showrunner Jacob Tierney's series based on Aristotle and Alexander the Great's relationship coming on Netflix!! #romancelandia #heatedrivalry deadline.com/2026/03/jaco...

No. Bring back Murder, She Wrote.

Oh yeah there was also a lot of speculation about how he managed to live so long.

We discovered at my grandma's wake that she'd outlived him by three months and had a good time imagining what she'd say about that.

So I met this man several times as a kid (when he came back to visit his parents, who were supporting him). He seemed very confused that none of his adult kids wanted anything to do with him. Hmm

I'm not convinced he did a lot of farming before that either. My mother remembered a lot of being sent into town on the horse to roust him out of the bar because he'd taken the car.

Easy to say my grandfather was a farmer, but that doesn't quite encompass the reality of a man who farmed less than 20 years, then was a professional drunk for another 45 after abandoning his wife and 8 kids and gf (same name as his wife!) and 1 kid and fucking off across the country.

Has the industry tried smiling more

there's something to be said about how Harrison Ford's two big pop culture characters of Indiana Jones and Han Solo both have gigantic goober energy, like, both of them are constantly getting into Situations

Google "that's my pot dealer!" for a surprise.

The last person I talked to in person in 2020 outside my house was Bean Dad.