Ruby fuckin Tesla

Listening to a man talk and smiling and responding playfully and acting out the role he wants you to be based on his vibes is basically just masking and that's why so many of the world's best strippers are autistic

If you're in or near south FL, please consider coming to my show this weekend. It's one of my fav shows I've ever done and we're celebrating its 10 year anniversary 🥹 tickets & more info: tolkienitoff.com

No one needs to know how close I just came to pouring fog machine juice into the washing machine at the laundromat

Self employed life can be like
$3k month
$6k month
$2k month
$10k in 4 days holy shit
$50 month

Normalize journalists doing rocky horror style callbacks in white house press briefings and yelling mean nicknames when certain characters appear

I'm not supposed to announce this yet but I'm really excited about it. So I'm leaving a lil secret here, on the perform where I have the lowest follower count, as a compromise.

Tolkienitoff.com 🧝‍♀️

Living in a crumbling empire is wild dude, I'll think I'm ok and then something happens like my cat pees on the rug and I thought we'd fixed this issue with meds but apparently it's back and then I'm just spending the rest of the day crying

How has "shut the fuck up donnie" not become more of a trump era meme? Am I just too old? Do people not know this reference anymore

Help I'm trying to do things but my brain keeps going Abra ca da bra abra ca daaaaaa braaaaaa A MINORRRRRR

Idk about you but I've literally never had a reason to say the words "I'm not a nazi"

Can't think of one unless you're a nazi avoiding accountability

I simply do not have an ounce of hustle in me this week but you should still subscribe to my onlyfans just because

Anyone with a few years of camming, OF, or pro domme (or similar) experience just KNOWS jd vance is in some hot mommy's inbox begging her to tell him he's the very best boy

I just hope he's paying her a lot

forgot i was wearing my monster fucker shirt until the camera turned on for my virtual therapy appointment

app idea: one that collects data on various downtown parking locations and tells you the % likelihood that you'll get a ticket if you don't pay/let your parking expire and how much the ticket is if so

rfk jr is personally responsible for more deaths than luigi mangione 🤷🏼‍♀️

frozen with dread trying to pick out the perfect outfit to wear to nosferatu (2024 eggers)

Two new designs in my store today. Get yours at papavixen.com

Today we celebrate the birth of a great man who changed the course of history hundreds of years ago.

Happy birthday, Sir Isaac Newton 🍎

My mom constantly refers to my dad as her "biggest kid" and wonders why I never got married. I do not want to be a caretaker to a man child

✨️ ruby tesla free dot com ✨️

I bring a certain "full face of makeup and a giant t-shirt because I just got done shooting 🌽" vibe to the grocery store at 10pm

I fucking love pontypool

SIMPLY HAVING A

I don't believe in ghosts because they would have christmas caroled donald trump by now

My doctor complimented me on my blood pressure last year, same vibes

Let me keep you warm.

❄️ ruby tesla free dot com ❄️

Most podcasts: omg I'm so sorry a truck just drove by omg it's so loud I'm so sorry

Podcasts recorded in NYC: it turned out the killer was (ambulance siren) the victim's (outside chatter) sister the whole time (police siren)

I miss deviantart

Meta is so fuckin stupid, I just got this notice on my fb right after this photo (that is very tame imo) was taken down for TOS 😒

Every movie where a smart robot takes its "protect human" commands too literally and ends up doing violence is just black mirror amelia bedelia