Legion of the Unexplainables

Also, fun fact: the putrid fumes and thick smoke that made those hysterical kids' eyes and noses burn? Turns out she's just lactose intolerant.

We brought them back to HQ, and she's been here since, waiting for the committee to reconvene. She's still officially part of the project, so she sends monthly reports, and in the meantime, she's being paid normally. She's built quite the real estate empire with that money, let me tell you.

After being ejected from the ship, she wandered around, tried to ask a cow for directions, got hungry and drank some of her milk (a galaxy-wide sign of friendship, apparently), stumbled upon a bunch of kids with a flashlight, and ended up sleeping against a tree until the Outreach guys found her.

After she failed to appear, a quorum was not reached, and the committee decided to put the project on hold for another 100 years. Public servants are the same everywhere.

May was representing her species in a committee to build a trans-stellar navigation tube (that's what the universal translator spat out, idk) that would allow for commerce among more than 300 star systems.

RobinReach

RobinReach

RobinReach

RobinReach

It's been almost 73 years since the Outreach team found May in Flatwoods. Yeah, the Flatwoods Monster is a she, and her human name's May. And she really, really doesn't appreciate the whole "monster" thing.

Also, fun fact: the putrid fumes and thick smoke that made those hysterical kids' eyes and noses burn? Turns out she's just lactose intolerant.

We brought them back to HQ, and she's been here since, waiting for the committee to reconvene. She's still officially part of the project, so she sends monthly reports, and in the meantime, she's being paid normally. She's built quite the real estate empire with that money, let me tell you.

After being ejected from the ship, she wandered around, tried to ask a cow for directions, got hungry and drank some of her milk (a galaxy-wide sign of friendship, apparently), stumbled upon a bunch of kids with a flashlight, and ended up sleeping against a tree until the Outreach guys found her.

After she failed to appear, a quorum was not reached, and the committee decided to put the project on hold for another 100 years. Public servants are the same everywhere.

May was representing her species in a committee to build a trans-stellar navigation tube (that's what the universal translator spat out, idk) that would allow for commerce among more than 300 star systems.

May was found wandering in the forest, trying to find her way back to her spaceship. It (and May) took a tumble after hitting some disturbance on the way to a summit on the other end of the galaxy.

RobinReach

It's been almost 73 years since the Outreach team found May in Flatwoods. Yeah, the Flatwoods Monster is a she, and her human name's May. And she really, really doesn't appreciate the whole "monster" thing.

Once the eggheads at the lab figured that out, it was just a matter of giving him a MiniDisc (hey, it was the 90s) with selected works by The Smiths on rotation. He's been solid and crying non-stop since then.

And then the real work began. How do we get him back to his normal state? It took a while to find the way his powers worked. Turns out, if he's in the company of someone sadder and more depressed than he is, he goes right back to solid form.

After a slight recalibration, we were able to pinpoint his location, but then the damn thing turned into a poodle of tears, and we had to carefully scoop him into a jar and bring him home. After a couple of runs through the strainer, we managed to get all the twigs and crap out.

RobinReach

RobinReach

RobinReach

RobinReach

Hemlock the Squonk. Boy, this one gave us trouble!
The idea was to capture/rescue him from a life of quiet desperation in Pennsylvania. We used the PDD (Psychic Distress Detector) to find the most depressed creature in the state, but that just pointed us to the 4460 accountants registered there.

Once the eggheads at the lab figured that out, it was just a matter of giving him a MiniDisc (hey, it was the 90s) with selected works by The Smiths on rotation. He's been solid and crying non-stop since then.

And then the real work began. How do we get him back to his normal state? It took a while to find the way his powers worked. Turns out, if he's in the company of someone sadder and more depressed than he is, he goes right back to solid form.

After a slight recalibration, we were able to pinpoint his location, but then the damn thing turned into a poodle of tears, and we had to carefully scoop him into a jar and bring him home. After a couple of runs through the strainer, we managed to get all the twigs and crap out.

RobinReach

Hemlock the Squonk. Boy, this one gave us trouble!
The idea was to capture/rescue him from a life of quiet desperation in Pennsylvania. We used the PDD (Psychic Distress Detector) to find the most depressed creature in the state, but that just pointed us to the 4460 accountants registered there.

When we told her how many people were looking for them and all the weird theories about them and their appearance, she snort-laughed for a whole minute. She also said the whole "they only have one tooth" thing was probably Uncle Oblongo. He was never very good at taking care of his teeth.

Louise, our liaison with the herd, is a pretty chill gal. We assumed she was a vegetarian, but she demolished our burger reserves. Not many cows in their bend of the river, apparently.

Turns out they're just shy and love their swampy corner of the Congolese jungle. They have no need for Netflix or any kind of notoriety, and raising tiny Mokeles while chilling in the water makes them happy to no end.

RobinReach

RobinReach

RobinReach

RobinReach

Good old Mokele-Mbembe was near the top of the list for the most "popular but likely to not exist cryptids" in the office. The odds were low, the bets were high, and some members of the team made *a lot* of money when we actually found one of them back in 2011.

When we told her how many people were looking for them and all the weird theories about them and their appearance, she snort-laughed for a whole minute. She also said the whole "they only have one tooth" thing was probably Uncle Oblongo. He was never very good at taking care of his teeth.

Louise, our liaison with the herd, is a pretty chill gal. We assumed she was a vegetarian, but she demolished our burger reserves. Not many cows in their bend of the river, apparently.

Turns out they're just shy and love their swampy corner of the Congolese jungle. They have no need for Netflix or any kind of notoriety, and raising tiny Mokeles while chilling in the water makes them happy to no end.

RobinReach

Good old Mokele-Mbembe was near the top of the list for the most "popular but likely to not exist cryptids" in the office. The odds were low, the bets were high, and some members of the team made *a lot* of money when we actually found one of them back in 2011.

Nowadays, his whole terror-eyes thing and the canid side of his personality make him the perfect addition to our security team. He loves the job, we all feel safer, and he spends time outside, which helps a lot with the wet dog smell.