Michael Mayket

May you make it to midnight without the Easter Bunny stealing your gold!

Okay, allergies, you don't like me and I don't like you... so let's just agree to go our separate ways and never bother each other again.

Do you choose to celebrate International Submarine Day today, or do you save your festivities for National Submarine Day on April 11th?

There’s a Little Mermaid show on Disney+, and Ursula is Ariel’s “Auntie” and goes to her when she has a problem, and whenever my daughter is watching it all I can think is, “One day you’re going to gore your Auntie through her fucking gut and watch her corpse sink away never to be seen again!”

75% of adulting in the 2020s is literally just breaking down boxes.

I don’t know, this day didn’t really feel any shorter than yesterday to me. Just my opinion.

Rolo’s are a highly underrated candy.

I envy bunny.

The craziest person in Fight Club is the guy who says, "Can I be next?" after watching Tyler punch himself repeatedly in the face outside of the bar.

I just gave myself "double fingerguns" in the bathroom mirror so I must be doing something right.

It’s your annual reminder that if your balls feel like a bag of worms… that’s a problem!

I don’t have guilty pleasures. I just have pleasures, and sometimes guilt, but never about the media I enjoy.

Is 5 years old too young to start a new family tradition where we watch 2023’s Thanksgiving every year after dinner?

Hot take alert:

Usually, the musicals at the parade pick a good, crowd pleasing, stand alone number to perform. If that’s the best Death Becomes Her has got I don’t think I need to see that one.

While Idina Menzel was performing at the Thanksgiving day parade I decided to look to up if she was still married to Taye Diggs. She’s not, but I learned she is married to the boy from the “Let’s Hear It For the Boy” video. I hope for her wedding vows she just sang that song.

Apparently there is always an ambulance in a presidential motorcade. If JD has 2 I have to assume Donny will demand 4.

So, 2 ambulances and a bunch of secret service vans were at Mar a lago and then departed. The official story is they were part of JD Vance’s motorcade. Why does JD Vance have 2 ambulances in his motorcade? Is it literally just to run red lights?

Seriously, an entire city has turned all of its first responder emergency services over to a 10 year old boy and seven dogs… IT’S INSANE!

#PawPatrolThoughts

Shira: Did you have a snack when you got home?

Zivah: No, I just had graham crackers and a string cheese.

My wife asked me to start putting together the new elliptical. I was afraid it would be complicated, but it turns out it’s only 4 steps. I should be done in no time.

What a terrible time to not be a terrible person.

Albanese > Haribo

#RealOnesKnow

Remember Dobby? This is what they look like now.