laura

If the news this weekend has taught me anything, it’s that I have an embarrassingly poor grasp of international geography.

Apropos of nothing, I have a wonderful partner and a great life. I genuinely think it would be a very sad waste of time and energy for someone to worry about things that will literally never happen as long as I have breath in my body.

I walked through the door eighteen minutes ago and I’m already in bed with the cat. (Hamburg was fine.)

Just had to pay DOUBLE for a pin that I was sure I bought when we were in WDW but apparently did not. Almost broke my spinny pin streak.

This evening we’re drinking 19 Crimes Chard with vegan camembert and garlic bread, after a rousing afternoon of putting all my silly Disney pins in my new pin book. Happy Val Day.

Got All-American Rejects tickets today at presale and my depression is cured.

Thought I was reaching for my (white) AirPod case. Was, in fact, reaching for my cat’s tiny (white) paw and subsequently frightened both of us half to death.

I think I have perhaps aged out of sugar baby territory.

I don’t like this anymore. I want someone else to pay my bills and buy my treats and do my responsibilities.

I don’t usually begrudge my license fee, but that episode of The Night Manager might have pushed me over the edge. How dare you.

In an attempt to cheer myself up, I’ve been to THREE TK Maxx stores in search of the Kermit cardigan. I didn’t find it, so now I’m sadder than when I started. False economy.

Photo of the most handsome tuxedo cat in the world, complete with wonky moustache and fancy little hand.

I would go to war for this little gentleman.

Yes and I was THRILLED. If Stephen had turned on Rachel, I would have hunted him down.

I have thought of NOTHING but The Traitors today.

I made spaghetti in my Big Pan so I’d have spaghetti for two days. Instead of that working, I just ate double pasta and now I have to wash the Big Pan.

Taking the trees down today, but taking solace in all of the excellent new storage boxes I bought for this purpose.

While You Were Sleeping is the best Christmas movie because even though it is absolutely ridiculous, it is also entirely believable that someone would marry Sandra Bullock after a week of knowing her.

Literally, what is more festive than the indigestion caused by eating cold roast potatoes five minutes before bedtime? Nothing.

Thoughts and prayers to my fellow vegans this Christmas—and to their relatives who, once a year, become passionately concerned about whether vegetables have feelings.

Just back from watching the Tractor Run, if anyone was questioning my Jeep-owning credentials.

Live your dreams, annoy men x

MUPPETS CALENDAR DAY ONE: Bob Cratchit

Thank youuu. A Jeep! I’ve wanted one since my Barbie had one. I got a new Jeep Avenger (Electric) and it’s beautiful.

Picked up my dream car today as a little Christmas gift to myself and I’m keeping my Zoe as a little Christmas gift to my sister, who has her driving test soon. Everybody wins.

Before: Christmas tree ornament with a weird yellow cat popping out of it.

After: Christmas Tree ornament repainted to have a tuxedo cat with a triangle on his head popping out of it. Much better.

Took an ugly but adorable little ornament I got in Dunelm for £3 and painted it to look like my lad. Merry Christmas x

The La Fauxmagerie Camemvert was the highlight of my festive season last year. I dream about it.

In case anyone is in the market for some cruelty-free recommendations, I’ve placed two Christmas (ve) cheese pre-orders, one with KindaCo and one with Saporia (for Honestly Tasty and La Fauxmagerie).

Blonde lady in her car on Halloween, with a Universal Monsters t shirt and plastic bolts sticking out of her neck.

Office Halloween.

Lovely to hear that Ian Watkins is dead. Hope it was horrible x