@danwilbur.bsky.social
My 3rd grade teacher told me I had a “great way of ruining things for people.” Now I do comedy. https://linktr.ee/danwilbur
Wish I could go back in time and really stick it to Sleepy Joe!
08.12.2025 03:13 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Was thinking to myself “it’s not like EVERYONE in New York City is a comedian” and then I looked down at the subway platform and saw what was clearly a discarded set list.
08.12.2025 02:31 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0IDEA: a mirror but actually it's just a framed picture of you from five years ago.
08.12.2025 01:56 — 👍 7 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Broke: Die Hard is a Christmas movie.
Woke: All movies are technically Christmas movies because Christ is in all of us.
Great gift idea for anyone you know who takes the LIRR: headphones! And be sure to explain to the person how they work because they’ve apparently never owned a pair!
07.12.2025 18:57 — 👍 2 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Great episode of My New Thing this week with activist and director Brandt Andersen who told us all about his new film I Was A Stranger!
06.12.2025 16:26 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Actually, it’s good if there’s only one streaming service that owns everything because then I only have to cancel one subscription when they cancel my favorite show (Love Is Blind: Brazil)
05.12.2025 15:19 — 👍 3 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0JD Vance puts Donald Trump down for a nap so he stops falling asleep during cabinet meetings.
04.12.2025 14:34 — 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0Every accusation is a confession.
03.12.2025 23:22 — 👍 5 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0JD Vance puts Donald Trump down for a nap so he stops falling asleep during cabinet meetings.
04.12.2025 14:34 — 👍 3 🔁 2 💬 0 📌 0
What does it mean
03.12.2025 01:00 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Makes you think.
03.12.2025 00:56 — 👍 0 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0JD Vance stages intervention for Pete Hegseth after Venezuelan boat strikes.
02.12.2025 14:42 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0Happy Thanksgiving from Vice President JD Vance! @jd-vance-1.bsky.social
26.11.2025 22:23 — 👍 11 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0I saw my D.A.R.E. instructor at Target and he was like "what are you doing now?" and I said: "drugs!"
29.11.2025 02:02 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0He’s dropping a new slur every time a war crime comes to light the same way they decide when to bring back the McRib
29.11.2025 01:26 — 👍 4 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0A Thanksgiving Miracle.
27.11.2025 18:13 — 👍 4 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0A ban on white dudes with rifles until we find out what the heck is going on!
27.11.2025 02:21 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
The main reason JD Vance is a racist is because he only points out a violent person’s race when they’re not white. The guy who shot his close friend was a “leftwing lunatic” who “knew a trans person” but I don’t remember him saying anything negative about his white MAGA household.
27.11.2025 02:21 — 👍 5 🔁 0 💬 1 📌 0Happy Thanksgiving from Vice President JD Vance! @jd-vance-1.bsky.social
26.11.2025 22:23 — 👍 11 🔁 3 💬 0 📌 0
Listen to My New Thing! podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m...
26.11.2025 01:29 — 👍 1 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0What’s the best way to cook for yourself? @alisonleiby.bsky.social has the answer! @zachsims.bsky.social
26.11.2025 00:58 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 1 📌 0We had a great time talking to Alison Leiby about soup on My New Thing!
Listen here: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m... @zachsims.bsky.social @alisonleiby.bsky.social
I bet JD Vance is going to call him Hitler again to get the spark back.
22.11.2025 21:00 — 👍 6 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Zach and Dan discuss Squid Game: The Challenge on this week’s bonus episode of My New Thing!
podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m...
Yes, I do spend a lot of time thinking about big jugs. Big jugs of distilled water for my CPAP machine!!!
20.11.2025 18:20 — 👍 3 🔁 0 💬 0 📌 0
Just renewed my health insurance for 2026!
20.11.2025 16:51 — 👍 2 🔁 1 💬 0 📌 0Can’t believe the whole country has to suffer through the return of Dickensian childhood diseases because the worst, most ignorant attention-demanders decided other people’s expertise makes them feel bad
20.11.2025 04:19 — 👍 26646 🔁 6669 💬 7 📌 220
Let me wish your conservative uncle “happy holidays!”
v.cameo.com/e/8JXWdIYUqYb
