Dan Wilbur

Anyway. Does Congress exist in any capacity now? Do they even name mailboxes or whatever anymore?

You say “that’s just the way it is” when a kid isn’t tall enough to ride a roller coaster not when people die during the war you started.

Last time we invaded the Middle East, they told us to forget about it and buy a nice DVD player with our tax returns.

This time, they’re like “eat tripe out of a can, you piggies!”

You can only half-blame Trump for this since only half of his body is working after the stroke.

Haha

Now, now. Some of those Iranian schoolgirls could have one day BECOME nuclear scientists.

If Iran doesn’t want their elementary schools bombed, they shouldn’t have built them next to the nuclear enrichment sites we said we destroyed already!!!

If only we had a government where some sort of group of representatives decided when we went to war instead of one guy deciding for all of us.

Our Traitors Finale Recap: podcasts.apple.com/us/podcast/m... #traitorsus

Streaming after Paramount buys Warner Bros.

Not because of Japan’s expert use of soft power, but because I haven’t done anything with my life

What is everyone doing for the Pokémon 30th Anniversary?? I’m thinking about replaying the Nintendo DS Pearl Version since pearls are the traditional 30th anniversary gift!! Speaking of pearls, if my grandfather were alive to read this, it would feel like his second Pearl Harbor.

JD Vance is what would happen if “please clap” were a person

JD Vance responds to President Donald Trump’s 2026 State of The Union. #sotu

JD Vance standing and clapping for another invasion of the Middle East after claiming for years he thought the war in Iraq was a mistake. He has no spine and no actual political stance. Just whatever Trump wants. #SOTU

Wow! Someone was confused about her gender, changed her mind, and now identifies as the gender she prefers and Trump is celebrating it?? Woke is back!! #sotu

A unifying message from the president: “these people are crazy!” as the people he’s addressing yell that he’s verifiably protecting his pedophile friends. #SOTU

Love to bring the country together by scolding everyone who disagrees with me and calling them traitors who love crime. #SOTU2026

The other Delilah Law is that if you request a Celine song on the radio on behalf of your lover, they have to forgive you for whatever you did. #sotu2026

JD Vance is the perfect person to lead the “war on fraud” since he has so much experience being one. #sotu2026

Trump: “The women are coming to the White House even though they said no to the invitation already. Making women do stuff against their will is sort of my thing.” #SOTU2026

Justice John Roberts has Dust Bowl depression face. #sotu

So many familiar names and faces at the State of the Union! Familiar because I saw them in the Epstein Files. #SOTU2026

JD Vance congratulates the US men’s hockey team for winning a gold medal at the Olympics.

JD Vance congratulates the US men’s hockey team for winning a gold medal at the Olympics.

Praise the message!

The more we taunt the Canadians about our hockey victory, the closer we come to the End Times as described in The Good Book (Infinite Jest)

We spent too much time talking about how inefficient it was to keep federal records in a limestone cave and not enough time talking about how that’s cool as hell and we should do more weird stuff like that.

I’m old enough to remember when they at least tried to convince us that invading a country in the Middle East was a good idea before they did it.

20-something woman at the grocery store self-checkout plays a little game where she tries to guess my birthday when I buy beer ever since the time she was 4 days off. Despite knowing that, today she almost got my birthday right but entered 1972 for the year. The game is now over.