SpectroMattix

Chris and I were sitting in my car while I was crying yesterday (a lot of stress right now) and my dance playlist was playing. Chris then proceeded to comment on how this is a weird playlist to cry to. The reason for the comment? Because of RAMALAMA (BANG BANG)

Again Insufferable with a color changing top

Universal Day 🥰

What do you do when you go to visit your new bf at work? You make it a character day 😋

Yeah man all my friends in Minnesota are buying high viz vests and forming human chains at class dismissals because ICE is targeting and tear gassing schools. I wonder why parents would want information about that.

A photo of Claudette Colvin in a red sweater

WASHINGTON (AP) — Claudette Colvin, whose refusal to move seats on a segregated bus helped spark the civil rights movement, dies at 86.

If I would of had this shirt when I went to Disneyland? I WOULD OF BEEN ABSOLUTELY UNSTOPPABLE. The way it color shifts and everything 😫

Okay but this photo? The lighting, my favorite girl? The random kid in the background gagged and gooped because of Miss Daisy? PERFECTION

There's no secret episode of 'Stranger Things' releasing tonight

• Many fans were so underwhelmed with the series finale that they made up a theory around a 9th episode

• Theory went viral amassing millions of views on social media

• Variety says it's not happening

a bulletin board that says - i'm sorry i haven't been reaching out much. i still care about u and think of u often. i'm just so dead tired. mybodyistryingtokillme.com

Black people five years ago: you know, they can kill anyone they want to out there

Everybody today: hot damn, did you know they can kill anyone they want to out there?

the most concerning thing about them justifying murdering an obviously completely innocent murder by ICE is if they can justify and defend this, there’s nothing that’s too far for them. anything you can imagine them doing is very likely something they’ll stand behind

Same.

God keeps giving me these uphill battles. No like literally why is the Monorail ramp so steep at TTC 😭😭😭

Terrible idea.

bsky.app/profile/thea...

“No room at the Inn” is a biblical reference about immigrants (Jesus’ parents) being turned away. Not the government. Way to go, Hilton! The 3rd Amendment protects private entities from having to house the government.

No but mood.

She burma on my torch till I Wintertodt.

Sylveon saying "hey guys" The kids say "Estrogeon" Sylveon says ".....close enough"

BAHAHAHAHAHA SERVES THEM FUCKING RIGHT

Made a cake for my birthday 🩵💜

What a fucking week.

TIME TO BLARE EDM UNTIL NEXT WEEK! MUAHAHA

Also during this time I've learned that I'm Polyamorous and Demisexual.

So while I'm not actively looking for someone because I'm still healing, I'm not going to say no to fate deciding it's time.

I'm trying to make an active change to be better and do better.

These past few months have been my come to Jesus moment and boy does it fucking suck.

I left my position at the convention I was a lead of, Andrew and I broke up, and other people decided I'm not even worth talking to.

I'm not typing all of this out as a "Woe is me" story. I'm typing this all out because I'm trying to take accountability for my actions towards others.

That grief and pain and anger? I wanted it to end. I ended up in the hospital for a week where I finally got the wake up call I needed. (Long story short, being stuck in a hospital bed while the person in the room next to you dies is extremely traumatic)

However the damage was done

I didn't want their help, I was too focused on how I felt that I continued to lash out and push everyone away because I was hurting. I wanted all of the pain and grief I was feeling to disappear.

Which reached at catalyst in the beginning of November where I tried to end it all.

I have privately apologized to those that my actions have affected.
Throughout September and October I was not myself, I was going through a really bad mental breakdown and I took out my anger, frustration, grief, and stress on those who were just trying to get me help.