The Daily Pratchett

“‘Stop the kid ringing the damn bell, will you?’
‘Knock it off, Lance Constable,’ Vimes muttered. The noise had worked, anyway. This little tableau had a silent audience now.“

“‘And, of course, any citizen has the right to bear arms. Bear that in mind, please.’
‘Arms is one thing. Holding weapons in ’em and playing soldiers is another.’l

“Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid to say that these days all I get is moo.”

“People’d live for ages side by side, nodding at one another amicably on their way to work every day, and then some trivial thing would happen and someone would be having a garden fork removed from their ear.”

“To all the fighters for peace”

Sigh.

“If the Creator had said, ‘Let there be light’ in Ankh-Morpork, he’d have got no further because of all the people saying ‘What color?’’’

“‘The Patrician’s a supreme ruler.’
‘But he doesn’t wear a crown or sit on a throne and he doesn’t tell you it’s right that he should rule.’”

“You took an oath to uphold the law and defend the citizens without fear or favor, and to protect the innocent. That’s all they put in. Maybe they thought those were the important things. Nothing in there about orders, even from me. You’re an officer of the law, not a soldier of the government.”

“Being a copper only worked when people let it work. If they refocused and realized you were just another standard idiot with a pennyworth of metal for a badge, you could end up as a smear on the pavement.”

“Who really knew what evil lurked in the hearts of men?
ME.
Who knew what sane men were capable of?
STILL ME, I’M AFRAID.”

“The city doesn’t stop, you see. It’s not like a battlefield. The best place for urban fighting is right out in the countryside, sir, where there’s nothing else in the way.”

“Vimes wondered what was going on. He wondered if anyone out there was taking care of business.”

“‘Who sent yer?’
‘I come from the city,’ said the figure, drawing a thin, silvery sword.
‘Who are yer?’
‘Think of me as…your future.’”

“That was what civilization meant. It meant the city.”

“‘Are we taking the law into our own hands again, Sarge?’
Vimes stared at the entrance to Cable Street, and was aware of the weight of the cigar case in his pocket.
‘Yes, Fred,’ he said. ‘Only this time we’re going to squeeze’.”

Fin.

“Two types of people laugh at the law; those that break it and those that make it.”

“A woman’s voice said, ‘He’s awake.’
‘Are you sure?’ said a man’s voice. ‘How can you tell?’
‘Because I’m good at telling if a man is asleep,’ said the woman.”

“The gonne gave you power from outside. You didn’t use it, it used you.”

“This cemetery of Small Gods was for the people who didn’t know what happened next. They didn’t know what they believed in or if there was life after death and, often, they didn’t know what hit them.”

“Now we sing dis stupid song!
Sing it as we run along!
Why we sing dis we don’t know!
We can’t make der words rhyme prop’ly!”

“‘I should loosen her corsets, if I was you,’ she said as she ambled past.

‘Good heavens, madam, there’s enough panic in here as it is!’”

“HO. HO. HO.”

“And fools made fools of all of us as we fought to stop a war, until the disgusted sky washed us away.”

“Igors were naturally servile, vampires were naturally not. It was an ideal match.”

“And so once again peace spreads her tranquil blanket.”

“So that was the world, was it? Clearly a mad place, with madmen in it.”

“A crowd still hung around outside the palace. Things were happening, and even if they did not know what they were they weren’t going to miss them. If any history was going to occur, they wanted to watch it.”

“WHAT KIND OF A THING ARE YOU?”