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donni saphire

@donni.bsky.social

Chicago if it matters. Dive bar comedy vet. Only seem calm because I’m exhausted. Thinking about some new shirts

32,732 Followers  |  698 Following  |  2,198 Posts  |  Joined: 27.04.2023
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Posts by donni saphire (@donni.bsky.social)

Well well well, if it isn’t the people who suck doing some more shit that sucks

05.03.2026 00:42 — 👍 141    🔁 23    💬 3    📌 1

heard an ace of base song in a commercial about taking probiotics to combat flatulence

05.03.2026 00:19 — 👍 67    🔁 6    💬 5    📌 0

You can’t outrun the consequences of being stupid forever, but sometimes you don’t notice them, due to being stupid

04.03.2026 05:44 — 👍 152    🔁 26    💬 3    📌 2

Sometimes I just want to hug an enormous blueberry muffin

03.03.2026 23:38 — 👍 64    🔁 12    💬 2    📌 0

constantly finding melted chocolate on myself like a gd Oompa Loompa

24.02.2026 18:48 — 👍 218    🔁 41    💬 11    📌 0

training my bees to take down data centers

03.03.2026 02:31 — 👍 93    🔁 8    💬 2    📌 1

There’s still plenty of time for me to suddenly develop a talent

03.03.2026 01:54 — 👍 88    🔁 22    💬 3    📌 0

For the past few weeks instead of throwing out old food i put it in a bowl and leave it at my side door so the raccoons dont rip open my garbage and I think this is an excellent arrangement which benefits everyone involved

03.03.2026 00:46 — 👍 150    🔁 4    💬 13    📌 0

Get in losers, we’re going to the losing store to buy more loss

02.03.2026 02:42 — 👍 116    🔁 18    💬 4    📌 1

microdosing my childhood by watching the united states start a war in the middle east

02.03.2026 01:22 — 👍 668    🔁 106    💬 10    📌 4

Ah so you have an open door policy… I’m not sure my 3 year old can handle that amount of freedom lol

01.03.2026 16:11 — 👍 2    🔁 0    💬 0    📌 0

We are almost there and my question is… do they wake up having to pee at night? Potty in room maybe? The future is uncertain

01.03.2026 15:12 — 👍 3    🔁 0    💬 2    📌 0

I don’t know, man, I’m just trying to vibe and eat a nutritious variety of vegetables

01.03.2026 02:30 — 👍 98    🔁 20    💬 1    📌 0

Sup chat this is Slouching Towards Bethlehem with your boy The Rough Beast, and it looks like today’s stream could be a big one, as some of you might’ve already seen there are rumors going around social media that the hour has come round at last, so we’re gonna get right into it

28.02.2026 23:51 — 👍 2352    🔁 644    💬 36    📌 24

Shaking my head in stern disapproval at the heinous evildoers. Hoping it does the trick

01.03.2026 00:02 — 👍 70    🔁 11    💬 2    📌 0

in 25 years every food will be some gummy that tastes like dirt. and you will be required to kiss the computer once a day

28.02.2026 04:43 — 👍 92    🔁 7    💬 1    📌 0

The stubborn refusal to go to bed when you’re exhausted and have nothing else to do should be monetized

28.02.2026 04:14 — 👍 149    🔁 21    💬 7    📌 4

What Would Dinner Eat

28.02.2026 00:25 — 👍 62    🔁 10    💬 3    📌 1

*my body suddenly crumbles into dust*
Dang! I was using that

27.02.2026 05:08 — 👍 186    🔁 25    💬 2    📌 1

Time for my dreams to turn my fears into weird short films

27.02.2026 04:40 — 👍 64    🔁 18    💬 2    📌 1

Top ten surfaces to squirm on

25.02.2026 12:13 — 👍 170    🔁 24    💬 16    📌 2

We live in hell but do our best

26.02.2026 05:58 — 👍 462    🔁 146    💬 8    📌 6

my foes are rolling me up in a big buttery pancake to teach me a lesson but i just get really sleepy

24.02.2026 05:06 — 👍 49    🔁 3    💬 0    📌 0

Using my potent sensuality for good. At first. Then for evil

25.02.2026 23:53 — 👍 100    🔁 26    💬 0    📌 0

cats are so right because when there’s a loud noise it is in fact time to scatter

21.02.2026 05:27 — 👍 654    🔁 131    💬 2    📌 2

What if a lovable kitten gave a speech instead? We’d all be watching that with a delighted smile

25.02.2026 02:36 — 👍 86    🔁 7    💬 4    📌 1

if i ever have to land a plane, i’m gonna try to ‘set her down easy’ - that’s a promise

24.02.2026 21:58 — 👍 102    🔁 16    💬 0    📌 0

Discovering an awesome new band actually makes me angry now. Like bro I do NOT have time for this, but fine

24.02.2026 00:43 — 👍 190    🔁 28    💬 2    📌 3

Why do I have to pretend that I'm going to print something in order to save it as a PDF. Why do I have to engage in a little ruse.

23.02.2026 21:43 — 👍 19285    🔁 2922    💬 344    📌 1

Due to everything, I will not be doing anything at this time

23.02.2026 02:20 — 👍 482    🔁 131    💬 2    📌 3