Mary Heavens

I fucking love an anonymous Harrods hamper

Oh my god guys 🤩

Headline: Trump ramps up tourist checks with plans for mandatory social media inspections

Trump is a cunt. Goodbye, America. Glad I got to see you a few times.

I mean, he is baseline too stupid to be president – or in fact hold any role with responsibilities. We’re so fucked. All of us.

Has anyone actually asked Trump *when* America was great, as his AGAIN implies, because I can’t imagine him having a kind word to say about any of his predecessors, Dem or Rep. He’s the greatest president of all the presidents, remember.

Valentine Minges

United States, Census, 1850

Regina Jewelry – like you’ve just been jizzed on

You thinking what I’m thinking?

You will be visited by three spirits

BUT THE VERY NEXT DAY, YOU SOLD IT ON EBAY… is, I believe, the next bit

So true! And in fact these fuckers festering in prison only makes space for other talent to come through. Drain the swamp, as the Americans like to say.

Haha sorry, lol.

Yep…

It’s so disappointing. Especially from a woman

What the fuck, Judi Dench?

Oh my god, what a fucking loser. I had a Stranger Things dream

Great! Thanks x

Ooh, what have I missed?

Anon opin: Home Alone 2 would have been so much more fun and Christmassy if they’d had all the shenanigans in the toy shop.

This does make me question whether the headline’s real, tbh. (Not gonna give them my click though)

Also, it’s fewer calories

Haha.

Have a look at Zoe Ball and Jo Whiley discussing it – it’s terrifying.

Ha! They’re getting cleverer though aren’t they. Have you seen the voice cloning ones? Ridiculous family safe word is the only forward when it comes to any financial transactions…

Text saying I owe a parking fine

Joke’s on you, scamming cunt-faces because I don’t drive 💋

Good morning. I wonder what will the worst men in the world do today? 💐

Oh I’m jealous - we’ve just lost ours and I want to watch The Roses

Haha, not just me then

Anon opin: the West End Paddington is fucking creepy

I say bless you to strangers

He’s creeped into my algorithm and now I’m obsessed with his style.

I adore Jamie Campbell Bower’s patriarchal disobedience 💅🏼