Emily Haswell

Scrolling through tiktok feeling like a like an 18 year old who graduated three months ago and vowed to never return.

Oh!

Ok but will mom tok survive this?

The way kids cough, it’s no wonder that back in the day people used to have 10 to 12 backup kids just in case. The cough a two-year-old releases while fighting a common cold will have you researching funeral plots

If tiktok really gets banned I'm going to have to start doing community theatre again. Is that what the government wants? Does the government want to see a mother of two in the ensemble of Hello Dolly?

Love bombing always worked on me because I felt that being obsessed with me and buying me presents made a lot of sense.

A very special episode of X-Files in which Mulder proves the existence of Santa to Scully.

Jelly Roll??

Every six months or so I Google "tap classes for adults near me?" And that's when I know it's time to up the ole dosage.

I love kid sleep advice that's essentially "shake em up a bit before bed"

Every character featured in this commercial is a small business owner.

Currently holding space for pie (wearing stretchy pants)

Telling boomers that the image they shared of a baby penguin holding hands with a polar bear is actually AI is like telling someone with Alzheimer's that their wife is actually dead—just let 'em have it.

I could never be truly close to someone who didn't also submit a self tape for The Glee Project

You were my first follower!

Funniest part of the Netflix hot snowman movie gotta be the cancer notes being typed in comic sans