Your Old Pal

Also because he's dumb.

If the lie he was trying to illustrate was that he understood how time works, then he wins first prize!

Or last prize, depending on if you're him or not.

Here's the truth in a single sentence:

MAGA protects pedophiles.

Yeah, but how is the DOW doing?!?

Hosted by Chachi.

I learned film photography on a Nikon FM2...which I later sold to help pay for my Nikon D1...which I now regret immensely. I probably got 50 measly bucks for the thing.

At that time, I'm sure every cent helped. But I wish I had that thing back.

You could also replace "Ronald Reagan" with "The Rise of the Religious Right," which, of course, was one of Reagan's most enjoyable legacies.

I'll simplify it for you. If it resembles a weapon used by the military, it's military-style.

FWIW, personally I view ANY weapon that chambers more than a single round to be military-style. If your goal is to shoot a lot of bullets into something, then you should be on a front line somewhere.

Rich White Male Oligarchy Golden Age, is the answer.

Um... Duh.
Have to you ever heard the average hockey player interviewed?

They all stopped maturing as soon as their balls dropped, and have been in fuck or fight mode ever since.

Not saying they deserve a defense...but also zero dot zero percent surprised.

Half of them probably own. Cybertrucks.

He's literally Grandpa Simpson.

Hard pass.

EVERY staunch conservative that I've EVER met is not REMOTELY funny.

They all THINK they're hilarious...but their entire view of what's funny is actually just based on common ugliness.

None of them are clever enough to be funny. They all lack the basic human empathy and insight humor requires.

Everyone knows that the secret to superhero-level hand to hand combat is having no peripheral vision and being unable to turn your head.

It's actually a very poorly hidden secret. Everyone knows. It makes people fight way awesomer.

If he makes it thru without blowing some critical artery, or just plain falling asleep, mid-rant, I'll be stunned.

The NFL mock draft is quite possibly the stupidest use of time, money, and words ever imagined by the human species.

In a distant 2nd place: The Flowbee.

For 9 million bucks I guarantee each and every one of those "violent criminals" would have taken the money, self-deported, and retired to a tropical island to lounge every day on their pile of money.

DOGE apparently had no comment on this use of taxpayer dollars.

That dude is going to dissolve into his component molecules (i.e. feces and moldy lard) in front of the entire world.

Hopefully the Democratic response will be:

"That mound of steaming refuse speaks for itself."

So, how long until the administration says we should just move on from this? A couple of Scaramucci's?

Imagine hating yourself so much that you hate everyone else enough that you WANT to join ICE, and unleash all your hatred on everyone you possibly can.

I hope that someday soon someone doxes all these fuckers, so the world can plan to collectively shit on all their graves a few decades from now.

Right up until the Challenger was lost, I got up EATLY for EVERY space shuttle launch. I watched a launch from Daytona (the day after we went down to CoCo Beach but it got scrubbed), and then, when I was older, I saw 4 launches from various parking garage roofs in Orlando.

I really do miss caring.

It's techno jargon.

Now do it for the entire history of America. Betcha it's all downhill after that Revolutionary War thingy.

Sasquatch is Italian for Large Hill Individual. ChatGPT told me I was exactly right, and was really thinking about this in the best way.

100,000,000,000% chance that he's trapped in a self-hating super-closet.

Guaranteed.

Yeah. I wish I cared. Sad that I don't, anymore.

#ruined

Clippy, Clippy, everywhere, Clippy.

The tyranny goalposts just continue to drift.

What a crazy-random-happenstance!

If we had a progressive #president with the same disdain for the law as Heir Drumpf we'd have:

Universal Healthcare
Universal Basic Income
Budget surplus
No Citizens United
No Billionaire tax loopholes
A 13 Member SCOTUS
No Electoral College
No ICE
Gun Reform
No Congressional stock trades

On Day 1

Imagine AAAAAAALLLLLLL the pocket padding that an un-regulated, un-audited, un-allocated 75 billion bucks buys you.