BeachTV

There he goes. One of God's own prototypes. A high-powered mutant of some kind never even considered for mass production. Too weird to live, and too rare to die.

#HunterSThompson #FearAndLoathing #GonzoJournalism

$400 to $2400. That’s armed robbery with a stethoscope. They didn't raise my healthcare premium; they strapped me to a gurney & attached the financial equivalent of jumper cables to my wallet while some grinning actuarial ghoul in a corner office cackled into his spreadsheet.

#HealthcareCrisis

In a closed society where everybody's guilty, the only crime is getting caught. In a world of thieves, the only final sin is stupidity.

#HunterSThompson #FearAndLoathingInLasVegas #Gonzo

Cilantro’s flying. Tortillas are questionable. The health inspector’s already circling the block. But Chef Walter has vision. A black-lab renegade slinging tacos like a saint of hunger & rebellion. Every bite tastes like freedom. And maybe a little dog hair.

#ChefWalter #TacoSunday #WalterTheDog

In a world. where breakfast has become ordinary one food dares to be different. Bacon. The Meat Candy. Because some pleasures transcend explanation.

#MockCommercial #FunnyFood #Bacon

BUCKET-O-LARD! Fried Feast for Four

Say, homemakers! Is your family tired of bland, boring meals? Well, worry no more! Introducing BUCKET-O-LARD! That's right! One convenient bucket contains enough pure, wholesome lard to fry up a feast for the whole family!

#1950sVibes #VintageParody

Happy Halloween. 🎃🕯️💀

The streets are crawling with lunatics in masks. All grinning like they know a secret the rest of us are too sober to understand. You can’t trust anyone tonight; the smiles are painted on, and the candy’s probably laced with existential dread. #HappyHalloween #Halloween2025

“This sheet better come with extra treats.” 🎃👻🐾

#Halloween2025 #HalloweenMadness

He doesn't smile, though his lips are painted into the grotesque shape of joy. This is the terrible irony of the clown. He wears happiness like a mask, but beneath it there is only the same emptiness that haunts us all. #Halloween2025 #WeAreAllClowns

Behold the Pumpkin Warrior, standing triumphant upon his pedestal of stone, surrounded by the carved faces of the harvest. He holds aloft a jack-o'-lantern as if it contains some ancient wisdom, some forbidden knowledge. But what does he truly possess? A gourd.

#Holloween2025 #Jackolantern

They believe they've constructed an identity through these costumes, these poses. In their desperate symmetry, in their careful arrangement of boots & belts, we see the profound chaos of the human condition.

#JokesOnYou #ExistentialDread #Existential

Five years since Zeus took that last walk. The one every dog owner dreads. The one where you know damn well he's not coming back through that door wagging his fool tail & looking for his ball.

Always loved. Never forgotten. Forever missed. 🐾

We were somewhere around the witching hour when the pumpkins began to take hold. The symmetry is disturbing. Too perfect. And still they march. Always marching. Coming closer.

#HalloweenEve #Halloween2025 #JackOLantern

Tomorrow is Halloween proper, but tonight? Tonight belongs to the beautiful freaks who understand that the real magic happens in the liminal spaces, the in-between moments where anything is possible and everything is permitted.

#Halloween2025 #HalloweenEve

And there she was, riding that eternal green wave like some beautiful dharma bum of the sea, all grace and wild abandon, the board beneath her feet connecting her to that ancient rolling universe of water and sky, and I thought man, THIS is it, this is the pure moment.

#surfsup #surfergirl

Waylon said nothing. He never does. Just fixed me with that knowing stare that dogs have perfected over millennia of watching humans destroy themselves in increasingly creative ways. He wanted his breakfast. Or possibly the rest of my toast.

10.29.2024 🌅☕️🐾 #CoffeeWithWalterAndWaylon #WednesdayVibes

Wednesday before the great national freak-out. The veil’s thin, the moon’s full, & Wednesday Addams just strolled out of the underworld dressed for vengeance. There’s something unholy in the air. Perfume, sin, & expensive lipstick.

#Halloween2025 #WednesdayAddams #SaintsAndSinners

We are all wearing masks. Some of us just have the decency to carve a smile into ours and admit it.

#Halloween2025 #PumpkinHead #SpookySeason

Rebellion as art form. This is what the founding fathers were actually talking about when they scribbled down that bit about the pursuit of happiness. They just didn't have the guts to wear fishnet sleeves and show some tongue while doing it.

#TongueOutTuesday #PunkRock #DefiantBeauty

Three days to Halloween. The air hums electric. You can smell the ozone. Or maybe that’s just fear. Follow if you dare. But remember: some magic burns hotter than hell, and this one doesn’t grant refunds.

#LatexWitch #Halloween2025 #MidnightAlchemy

Tuesday morning. The sun drags itself over the horizon like a drunk climbing out of a ditch. Coffee is the only thing keeping civilization from collapsing outright. Steam curls up like divine smoke. Black, bitter, holy.

#CoffeeWithWalterAndWaylon #TuesdayMorning #CoffeeAndSurvival

Every man has his moment of clarity. Mine came wrapped in wax paper & tasted like artificial strawberry. Now it's gone, What remains is something darker. The kind of existential certainty that can only be achieved when you're down to one option & that option involves orthopedic consequences.

Día de los Muertos: For the Beasts We Loved

October 27th. It’s the Día de los Muertos for our four-legged comrades, the true saints of unconditional love.

Hasta luego, you beautiful beasts. Save me a spot by the water bowl. 🕯️🐾💀

#DayOfTheDead #DiaDeLosMuertos #AnimalSpirits

Midnight. The witches are out, strutting through ruins, drunk on moonlight & nefarious intentions. Some say it’s superstition. I say it’s women finally taking back the night, armed with spells, style, & zero patience for mortal nonsense. They laugh & the universe flinches.

#Halloween2025

The pumpkins are on fire again, grinning like lunatics, spitting sparks at the moon while the neighborhood pretends everything’s fine.

#Halloween2025 #HalloweenChaos #PumpkinRevolution

Blue eyes. Cold as morning coffee in an empty diner. Red lips. Color of secrets told too late. Together, they make you wonder if beauty’s a blessing or a warning sign.

#BlueEyes #RedLips #StrangeAndBeautiful

Monday Morning Coffee with Waylon

Four days to Halloween & the ghosts are already restless, floating through the café like caffeine-addled saints in white sheets. Waylon sits calm, unbothered, staring into the void.

10.27.2025 ☕️👻🐾

#CoffeeWithWalterAndWaylon #GhostSeason #MondayMadness

Walter & Waylon. The Blues Barkers. They're on a mission from Dog. Hit it. "We're putting the pack back together."

#WalterAndWayon #BluesBarkers #MissionFromDog

This is no ordinary request, friends. This is a declaration. A line in the sand. When you walk into a joint at 3 AM and order with that kind of surgical clarity, you're asserting your dominance over the chaos.

#FearAndLoathingInSpace #FourFriedChickens #DryWhiteToast

We're in the home stretch now. Five days until the Great American Freak-Out reaches its inevitable crescendo of sugar-induced madness and costume-rental panic.

Buckle up. The weird has only just begun.

#Halloween2025 #WitchingHour #SpookySeason