Claire

Hypnotizing you to think you're a .webp file so no one else can use you ever again

AI "domme" accounts be like, "Check out my OC! Get this, she's a featureless skinny white woman with big boobs who's into hypnosis."

Two sentence horror story:

Claire checks the hot sluts in my area machine
For 100000th day in a row, screen is empty 😞

The Crazy Optical Illusions admin watching the entire Bluesky hypnokink community suddenly convening on a post

a woman wearing a striped top and a pink and green embroidered saree Alt: A sad woman with long dark brown hair, blinking

When someone is being nice to me instead manipulating me and calling me slurs

***WARNING: THIS POST CONTAINS DISGUSTING UNREALISTIC FANTASY***

what if we were friends and you weren't mad at me

If you speak in an Italian mobster voice, the forcefem victim won't know that you're turning them into a "maid man" until it's too late

A secret I've been keeping is that I'm actually a superhero

I got infected with the symbiote that makes you horny and capable of cumming 16 times a day

Yeah, I'm an e-girl

The e stands for existential crisis

Sometimes I feel horribly down and like I'm, like, uniquely the worst person ever, but then I'll see shit like TADC fans driving their favorite show's creator off the internet because they're enraged the main characters have the most screen time and I feel downright normal!

Sure, valentine's day *is* marked on my calendar as "day for crying and jerking off", but every other day of the year is also marked as that

I haven't seen porn of a new Overwatch character since 2021 and that's how I know that game is fucking cooked

She asked me why I ate 120 pizza rolls and apparently "because we didn't have 240 pizza rolls" was not the correct answer

In the interest of making myself feel better, I'm gonna make my OWN Olympics. The events will be ego death and gooning. Despite being the only participant, I will get two bronze medals. But I also won't care, cause of the ego death

Real evil hypnotist stuff.

Not the dog bit, but making me think I have homework again for the first time in 10 years

Mistress hypnotized me to show her my "hidden talents", so I ate 120 pizza rolls and now she's freaking out. Can't win smh

Local woman in her 30s remembers to put the alcohol in the fridge but not the leftovers 🤦🏻‍♀️

I call Strong Bad!

Claire's Law: If I'm scrolling the minefield of the porn feed, any time I stop scrolling to take a drink or scratch my nose or something it WILL land on something I really don't want to see

Asking a girl to step on me and insisting it's not a sex thing, then watching the recoil in horror when she does and every bone and joint in my body pops and cracks at the same time

(I do cum after that but it's still not a sex thing)

"I own every thought in that little head of yours, don't I?"

Jokes on you, there were never any thoughts in there! You bought a lemon 😞

A panel from Garfield showing him using his belly to crush a mouse with the sound effect "WHUMP"

I'm not actually sure what the etymology of the fanfic term "Whump" is but I choose to believe it's this

Love when I see people RPing in replies and one of them is just dogshit at it

Like someone writing three sentences about "how scared they are to be lost in the jungle, and will the kindly snake help me to escape" And then the guy playing Kaa just goes "yeah"

Scott Adams was to hypnosis fetishism as Grummz is to belly button fetishism and I'm glad that 1/2 of them are dead

Girl who keeps taking days off from the masturbation factory using the excuse of a new dead relative every time

Okay, so I was kind of upset that this didn't get many likes cause I thought, "This is the funniest thing that's ever happened to me"

AND IT LITERALLY JUST HAPPENED AGAIN WITH MY GRANDPA DYING ASDHFDGSSDXZXXSAKFFCSSZXC

Well this is not a good day to have a 14 hour long psychosis breakdown...

"She would fix me", but it's one of the velociraptors from Jurassic Park

Had six white claws last night and did something unforgivable (Took a shower after midnight, meaning I can no longer do the "I haven't showered all year" joke)

Twenty Twenty SEX more like haha

*sends tweet*
*sits alone in dark for hours*
*considers life choices*
*cries*