Alice Bell

Bodies are so stupid, ‘I’m going to spontaneously generate a really sore spot inside my own mouth’. Oh GROW UP

I mean, yikes

At best what you’re saying here is that money moves the line for you.

People pretend they can’t draw a line to answer questions like this. But everyone draws the line somewhere! I have said this often but NOBODY is banging on Last Train Home at their House Party!

It’s the sort of thing they’d do though isn’t it

I stg if they bring back Jack Dorsey

A box containing some Warhammer Nighthaunt models, still in their sprues and nestled in bubblewrap

A bag of Norwegian Smash chocolates which are kind of small cereal horns dipped in milk chocolate. The bag is bright yellow

A paragraph from a handwritten letter: “I hope these plastic ghosts cheer you up, and that these superior Nordic confections bring you further joy. The ones called ‘Smash’ are like crack, and if you find an eligible bachelor to sound out you can say ‘Wanna smash?’ And know regardless of his response you can pull out the bag, either claiming it was a misunderstanding or - sealing the deal.”

My friend Tim sent me some more ghooooosts for my unpainted army! And some sweets; I have eaten some and he is entirely correct

I have told this many times but in Sons Of Anarchy they say stuff like “this is for SAMCRO” and “we’ve gotta think of SAMCRO” a lot, and for most of the first season I thought Sam Crow was a guy who was in prison or something

I've used Travelodge in the past as a simple, cost-effective way to stay somewhere overnight, but I won't be using them ever again - their security policies and duty of care (or lack of) are ridiculous

real

Screenshot from the Planet of the Bass Tiktok where lyrics on screen say "Women are my favorite guy"

Screenshot from the Planet of the Bass Tiktok where lyrics on screen say "Tell the world 'stop the war'"

This song feels incredibly relevant today.

This is an excellent rule for storytelling but also implies that Philip Pullman witnessed the death of God as a boy.

I'm too bored of this to try and be clever about it anymore.

If you think that two men kissing, or two women kissing, requires any more explanation than a man kissing a woman, that is homophobia.

Brainwyrms and Tell Me I’m Worthless are two of the best body horrors you’re ever likely to read, you need never trouble yourself with the tedious “extreme horror” popular on booktok again once you’ve got Alison Rumfitt uk.bookshop.org/beta-search?...

Dazzling: A bewitching tale of magic steeped in Nigerian mythology A bewitching tale of magic steeped in Nigerian mythology

Chịkọdịlị Emelụmadụ’s book Dazzling is, I think, maybe my favourite piece of spec-fic/magical realism. It’s set in and around a Nigerian girl’s boarding school, an it’s real “once read, never forgotten” stuff uk.bookshop.org/p/books/dazz...

Gill Perdue writes some of my favourite domestic noirs. Her next book, All Of Them Lied, was very chilling and relatable to a frequently ill person uk.bookshop.org/beta-search?...

Hallie Rubenhold writes non-fiction that changes how you think about history’s famous male criminals by refocusing on the women they victimised uk.bookshop.org/beta-search?...

Two paperback books on my bedspread. The Philosophy Of Love and The Next Chapter by Rebecca Ryan

HOWEVER other women are available!
Rebecca Ryan writes very sweet very funny romcoms in classic style but with modern sensibilities uk.bookshop.org/beta-search?...

It’s international woman’s day and I am an international woman! Why not consider spending a couple of quid on my book? It has creative swearing and a big dead naked guy! #booksky

I was talking to a guy who was like “oh man I forgot my sleeping pills” and it turned out he was talking about melatonin tablets. PIFFLE.

I’m In Bed With Warm Toes And Have Taken A Sleeping Pill But Just Remembered I Didn’t Put The Cooled Leftovers In The Fridge: Alice’s Story

An old screenshot talking about Google on top. It says "Google is a pure search engine — no weather, no news feed, no links to sponsors, no ads, no distractions, no portal litter. Nothing but a fast-loading search site. Reward them with a visit. Below is a screenshot from The Phantom Menace, where Anakin Skywalker is walking next to a building and behind him you see the shadow of Darth Vader.

Gentle reminder for those idiots that want Britain to get fully involved in an illegal war in the Middle East built on a false argument around WMD, in 2003 we had an economy larger than China and could put about 60,000 servicemen and women into the field.

It's history, not current affairs.

Contains an inordinately kind review of my new book amongst a fun roundup of others!

What a lovely review! Thank you so much for reading and taking the time 🫣 I’m honoured

The game basically only lets you eat apples and mushrooms and then roasts you for it. Ludonarrative dissonance my ass

And my goblin mate Snell looked at me weirdly and was like “really?” And I go “yeah I’m a human, I eat food, that’s normal!”
And Snell is like, “yeah man I just… I’ve only ever seen you eat apples.”

I laughed for a solid minute

It’s also very funny. Tiny early spoiler but it teaches you to eat food to restore HP by making you eat apples and early on they’re a really common bit of loot. Me and my goblin buddy came across a camp with a hot stove and loads of food lying around and I was like “boy, this is making me hungry!”