g.c.

one giant gas station carafe for the entire town

too thoon

[To someone dying of a bee sting] Nice shock. Lemme guess, it's anaphylactic? Of course

The failure of my last skeet tells me all I need to know about bsky

You can treat my face like a Jackson Pollock if you wanna

*ducks a few times then gooses you*

The Department of Defense became The Department of War until it was actually time for war just like I was CEO Boss Lady Powerful Woman until it was time to do tough employee reviews and then I was just baby angel

Can you imagine having one of those normal guy names like Bob Perry or Bill Johnson? Hahaha wtf

don't try to abstract me with lust

or do, it'll work

from them, to them, but never at them

you know what they say about guilty dogs

Alabama is set to kill Sonny Burton on Thursday. Governor Kay Ivey must stop it. Sonny Burton did not kill anyone, but Alabama put him on death row and his execution is scheduled to be carried out this week — unless Ivey grants clemency or courts intervene.

NEW: Alabama is set to kill Sonny Burton on Thursday. Governor Kay Ivey must stop it.

Sonny Burton did not kill anyone, but Alabama put him on death row and his execution is scheduled to be carried out this week — unless Ivey grants clemency or courts intervene.

Tonight, at Law Dork:

Had someone tell me my art is performance art because if I don’t make it then I’ll die since I live off optional tips 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

There was a beautiful moment today at my daughter’s basketball game where all play stopped because there was a ladybug on the court. The girls all worked together to pick it up and set it free outside

that one "friend" you can always count on to say the wrong thing is why there's quotes around him

daylight savings time to post some hog

I don't know why I'm like this and neither do the doctors. Please stop messaging me.

women: (on international women's day) finally a day for me

men: (on the same day) BABE I CAN'T FIND MY HOUR, HAVE YOU SEEN MY HOUR, I CAN'T FIND IT ANYWHERE

Indoctrination of a nation was much better to read about in history books.

Watching it happen just sickens me.

that's really up to you now isn't it

FACTS

knowing me will change the way you shit

fa sho

I want you all to know i have cat-like reflexes (want to sleep all day in the sun)

m head of mi6
mm a sweet treat
mmm forever chemical dumper
mmmm donuts

why are they called q-tips?

-me, when i q a tip too far

i use to dislike the 1 episode a week format but as i’ve gotten older i’ve come to appreciate the days where a new episode releases. it’s like a little treat

I turned off the tv today
I painted flowers
I listened to old playlists
I danced in the kitchen
I made good food
I watched the sunset
I turned off the tv today

Pic from IG, draft of two people kissing, shows the human digestive system, with text beneath : when two people kiss they make one long tube, butthole to butthole

This fits perfectly to butthole Bluesky...

📷 IG

It's just a little town around you with the scientific definition of an aura, and if an actual ice cream parlor on a main street can't verify it then it's not inspiring your nostalgic emanating utopia anyhow