g.c.

thought it would thort itthelf out

i have a tholuthon
thorta

Remember when we cancelled cable to save money?

Now I pay more than cable ever charged me to subscribe to 12 streaming apps and still rent the one thing I actually want.

idk about this i think its the
stupidest thing ive ever said

🗨️28K ♻️46K ♥️196K 𖤘→...

the fifa peace prize used to mean something

a fly just caught
me with chopsticks

ripples effect the surface
the rock sinks deep

feed me cheese touch my butt and tell me i’m your favorite celestial seasoning

*slides single m&m under the door*

i sorry

"phantom

I don't like doing shit but I love getting ready for it.

these are my emotional support peanut m&ms

i'm exciting, just not in ways intended

beast boss logging in

yw, i got em from you🥰

is it comfy cozy in there? (my head)

“anyway so how’s your flesh prison been tho”

bodies are so funny bc we rly have an entire organ that’s in there like “send this poopoo to the butthole”

I don't commit to anything but the bit

i really do wonder tho

you're only as oblivious as your least oblivious skeet

Oh? We’re NOT the center of the universe, but our planetary gravitational pull is somehow conveniently 1G of and our sun is 1 solar mass? Pretty big coincidence.

adding everyone to a group chat to check daily if they still like me

[forgetting the word vasectomy] seedless penis

[them] *dms me*
[me] I need to stop bothering them

unless something really bad happens, the only way out is through

posting through it (the no notifs)

peacock?? what an inappropriate name. am i supposed to say that in front of company? children?? the elderly??? i propose we call it "pisspenis"

Alexa, start the adoption process for a raccoon

when she tells me about somebody hot and i already follow them>>>