Sten

In exciting news, next week I am going to Leeds again. This time with an overnight!

Anyway, a good night to run naked round the garden, I reckon.

Tonight is apparently the Hunter’s Moon, the first full moon after the autumn equinox. I turned the lights off to go up to bed just now, and the room was bathed in the most beautiful light.

This song has been in my life for 35 years and its light hasn’t dimmed a fraction.

Oh my god Harriet Wheeler’s voice.

Mood: Skin and Bones by The Sundays. ❤️

Thank you, was a great night!

In exciting news, I might be going to work in the Milton Keynes office tomorrow.

Rapture by Blondie, or Rapture by Anita Baker?

I have found myself spending money recklessly when I’ve has a beer, but the worst I’ve done recently is buy a David Sylvian album I didn’t really need on vinyl, so you know. It’s not like I’m wanging out loads of £ on gambling sites or buying motorbikes.

So yeah, in a great place atm, lads. But will press on. Thank you for reading, if you have.

The beer then exacerbating the whole anxiety / depression thing the next day, along with all the guilt and shame that comes with the whole thing.

By the evening, though, all I have spoons left to do is drink too much beer and watch youtube videos about fellow middle aged blokes vanlifing in Asda car parks.

Some days are OK, in fairness. If the AuDHD gods grant me a spell of hyperfocus at a time where a nice detailed task I’m confident at comes up, I can be flying.

Then I force myself through the working day, trying to ensure I am at least doing enough to justify my salary (which isn’t huge btw). Some days I manage to eat / have breaks / look out the window.

Every day I wake up too early and watch my amygdala demolish any shred of positivity I might have accrued from, I don’t know, a nice sex dream or something.

So I’m trying to force myself to do positive things in the hope they gradually turn the ocean liner around.

For context, my mental health is in the bin at the moment. And not a nice waste paper basket in a posh office, a bin juice ridden monstrosity brimming with rotting meat and soiled nappies.

I went to the gym last night, and tonight I had an appointment to give blood, but they cancelled it. So I bought beer.

Doing this today! I’m on 12.30 - 1.15. #Vinyl #DJLife #Hitchin

Come with me!

I’m going to pack it all in and live in a camper van.

If you can call that progress then we’re riding different bikes.

I’ll have to dig my Push 2 out, haven’t used it for a while and been getting back into Ableton a bit since I got a Move (also ace!)

On the subject of fades, though, why does Brainstorm by Gang Starr fade out mid-verse?

I don't know how this happened but I'm listening to Serge Gainsbourg's reggae album and it's.... AMAZING.

Ooh, a Push! 👍🏼

There are a few things we’ve perhaps lost that were things I really enjoyed about music. Like a really well-sequenced album.

The fade out just gives you some time to bid the song farewell, rest your mind a bit before the next tune.

And then: songs that fade out, then fade back in again.