JL Henry - Author

My youngest (10), while watching Revenge of the Sith, during the final battle between Obi Wan and Anakin (the two light sabers are locked):

(To Obi Wan)"KICK HIM IN THE BALLS!!!"

I don't know if I should be proud or worried about my parenting.

"Dad? You were born in '79, right?"
"Yeah."
"Yikes. That's old."

Some days, my life looks like a Trojan ad.

I just called the game Plants vs Zombies "Zombies vs Flowers" which made my preteens cringe to the seventh dimension.

Daddyfying things is my new passion.

WMD40
This door is squeaking.
*Ka-BOOM*
No more squeaking.

TINFOIL HAT MOMENT!!!
What if wolves had never been dangerous to humans, and it was just a lie told by a serial killer looking for an alibi? It caught on, then instead of saying: "I took care of that bastard", people would say: "The wolves probably got him".
And the rest is history.

I swear, at least 60% of my conversations with my cats are about how it's not yet time to eat.

I'm waiting for a proctologist to almost win the Nobel peace prize and lose, just to be able to write the following title for an article:
"So close, and yet, so fart."

#dadjokes #baddadjoke #Icantbelievetheyhaventrevokedmydadcardyet #pleasedontcancelme #dopeoplestilldohashtagsthesedays

"If you leave a pizza out long enough, does it become a mushroom pizza?"

Musings of a twelve year old.

Heard in a household of pre-teens:
"That wasn't a fart, it was poop crying for help!"
There is room for sophistication.

My 12 year old asked me:
"If you had a superpower, would you rather choose invisibility but you can't control it, or the ability to fly but you're afraid of heights?"
Now I want to write a book about these superheroes 🤣

My son just told me his friend's dad was "actually pretty good at Fortnite", so if anyone needs me, I'll be honing my Fortnite skills.
Not getting out-dadded today.

I forgot who said this first, but it needs to be repeated:
In this house, we DO NOT throw food away.
We put it in a Tupperware in the fridge, wait for it to go bad, THEN we throw it away.

"Dear God... Let us have our enthusiasm back."
Jean-Marc Bernard

"I did. You call it coffee."
God

Hey look!
A squirrel!

Do they say "time is money" because, just like time, money flies when you're having fun?

When God closes a door, a cat will start meowing until it's opened again.

You're on the right track!

There are so many parallels made beyween Skynet and AI that we should take it a step further.
John Connor managed to (spoiler alert😜) defeat the T1000 (a newer model) with the help of the T800 (an older model).
Does that mean we should defeat chatgpt by bringing back Clippy?

Feeling lonely?

Just fart.
Someone (preferably someone you have a crush on) will inevitably walk your way. But only if it's stinky.

Follow me for more social hacks.

"It's so late, it's dark."

(heard during a Norwegian summer)

Sure, the Imperial system may sound silly to the rest of the world, but why is no one talking about how the British measure their weight in stones?

What if ghosts stopped dwelling in old houses and are now in overcrowded buildings? They can make all the noise they want, live their best afterlife, and people would think it's just the neighbors.

Soft. It's because I secretly love chimichangas.

A refreshing look on Greek mythology 🤣

You'd have a field day with me...

Get better soon❤️

Updating logos to be more accurate.

Wazaaaaa

I can relate...

Beta reading an indie author. Don't know if I can talk about the book though. It's urban fantasy.