salo

“Brian, you’re literally an angel and I’m obsessed with you.” - me to the Apple hotline representative I was talking to this morning.

if there’s one thing I’ve learned from this hbomberguy video thing it’s that a lot of video essayists are so far up their own asses they can see what they had for breakfast this morning.

Besides spider man what are some games for PS5 that I should get

uh oh I’m unlocking suppressed memories from my retail days and feeling shame!

Ah

I’m just learning of and watching this show Krapopolis and it’s so bad that it’s pissing me off.

A new character I’ve invented for the purpose of trivializing the horrors of having a corporeal form is Pukey Bojangles.

Kurt Vonnegut tells his wife he's going out to buy an envelope: "Oh, she says, well, you're not a poor man. You know, why don't you go online and buy a hundred envelopes and put them in the closet? And so I pretend not to hear her. And go out to get an envelope because I'm going to have a hell of a good time in the process of buying one envelope I meet a lot of people. And see some great looking babies. And a fire engine goes by. And I give them the thumbs up. And I'll ask a woman what kind of dog that is. And, and I don't know. The moral of the story is - we're here on Earth to fart around. And, of course, the computers will do us out of that. And what the computer people don't realize, or they don't care, is we're dancing animals. You know, we love to move around. And it's like we're not supposed to dance at all anymore." Let's all get up and move around a bit right now... or at least dance.

Vonnegut knew

"I created my own little character. He's a toad that's obsessed with potatoes. Calling him Potatoad. It's guaranteed to be the next big thing." -Barack Obama

Very exciting news from President Obama.

Pic of George Santos in press scrum surrounded by cameras and mics with his mouth wide open like he is singing or saying something

“THERE’S GEORGE SANTOS! HE’S GETTING AWAY!”

Not to brag but I got skimms to give me a refund on a package that got lost

It’s the holiday season, let’s binge watch nigella lawson

The way I worded this sort of makes it sound like he is responsible for hurricane Sandy, which probably isn’t true. But you get what I meant.

Remembering the time my ex used hurricane Sandy to slide into my dms

My husband hates Ann Margaret so much

whatever gets him to stop saying shit like “it’s giving q4 energy” to me

This guy at work cannot communicate outside of memes and internet speak. You’d think I’d have developed a resistance to this, but it is super fucking annoying.

The Hunger Games franchise is pretty good for what it is - until the weird zombie lizard people show up. Like that wasn’t necessary.

I put it in a gallon ziplock bag and shot it off. It’s still hot! Hopefully nothing goes wrong in the tube.

I don’t think I’ve ever made chili the same way twice, but this like your standard beef chili that I added red miso paste, pimentos, red sofrito, beans, and a tiny bit of peanut butter.

solving all of my problems by making the first batch of chili of the season

I’m watching the hunger games and it’s hard to tell if the game master is based on Andy Cohen or if it’s the other way around

I had a lot of fun playing a water genasi and I have a fairy that I plan to do the Jennifer Coolidge voice for at some point.

Today the salobutti household parted ways with the gallon jar of mayo only to accidentally purchase two smaller jars of mayo. Will we ever escape the tyrannical hold mayonnaise has over our home? idk

I’m learning how to play craps and everyone is being so nice

taking my husband to see saltburn in imax

he’s not lowly, he’s full of joie du vivre. how dare you??

I can’t be the only person that finds it fucked up that they named him “Lowly Worm.”

happy birthday to my baby kangaroo @joelibutti.bsky.social

🥺