Alex is editing 🥴

No matter how many times I try. I still don’t understand shaving or cutting ‘against/with the grain’ WHAT GRAIN THIS IS MY LEG

Honestly I’ve only met baddies in hijab. Because the face card does have to eat when your hair is covered!!

Annoying but NEVER ugly

Why do we call it true crime? Like how often do we hear fake crime 🤨

My roommate: Oh I was just reading my Bible
Me, knowing her political stances: so are you speed reading or have different version cuz this morning you called literal human beings disgusting 🤨 like not even bad people, just regular degular folks

a cartoon of snow white in a cell with bars on the door ALT: a cartoon of snow white in a cell with bars on the door

Moving back home makes you look at apartments you can barely afford and think ‘yeah, if I don’t mind starving, I could afford that’

Are you writing the Bible 😩🤣

Oh my grandma those are some big a** teeth!!

i refuse to choose, i live in america, by god, if i want katsu curry for breakfast and tandoori chicken pizza for lunch and a sushi burrito for dinner, i barely even have to leave my neighborhood

catch my meek ass inheriting the earth

checking zillow for foreclosures on the astral plane

Edits still, but there are some nice moments when you sit back from the nth re-read of your own work to think, "actually there are moments when I turn out a decent line."

As a gay, I mean this from the bottom of my heart, let’s stop using the term girlfriends for platonic friends 😭 my fellow black people especially cuz I think I found solidarity and I didn’t 🤣

More places need jalepenos! Chick fil a, Costco and Sam’s club pizza, must I bring a lil baggie of jalepenos. I have to do everything myself 😭 and start putting ginger ale in the soda machines some of us oldies enjoy it

I want gym gains by eating more protein but I get tired of chewing so I can’t eat big portions #esigh

Help, I've been sealed within an ancient unbreakable curse (I'm currently unable to write when I really want to write)

Keep trucking along!!

i’m not going to be lectured about political violence by people whose politics is violence

if i get killed, you can quote stuff i wrote. that's why i wrote it

We are NOT born or suddenly gifted with the ability to write amazing stories
It is a SKILL that is developed through study and practice.

Yay!! Congrats!

Boosting!!

a woman in a pink dress is holding a wand and the words woo-hoo are on the bottom ALT: a woman in a pink dress is holding a wand and the words woo-hoo are on the bottom

No one mourns the wicked 😀

It is weird that the assassination of essentially a celebrity influencer is a bigger deal than the shooting of two top state legislators + their spouses

a colorful drawing of the pop group tlc dressed in their iconic black leather fits, standing in front of green bushes holding gardening tools with the words: I DON’T WANT NO SHRUBS written atop.

i don’t know who made this but, thank you?

No because when I was a kid, I thought La Llorna was going to be a legit issue for me

So when British ppl cry, they still continue their fake accent?? 🤨

[walking through park to sushi]

LESBIAN BESTIE: What are you thinking?

MJM (playfully): Okay, what do you think I’m thinking?

LB: Hmm. That the American flag should be replaced with a sheet of silver sequins?

MJM (whispers): GodDAMNit I wish I was thinking that.

A grey kitten napping in a transparent plastic bowl perch of a cat tree

Bowl o’ cat

Another spoonful of Nutella does the job for me 🤪