Marc

I left to drink coffee...
Just remembered to come back.

That was January 2025

😝

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Black dog (no idea what kind) with really curly fur and it looks like hes wearing a Rick James wig

Im Rick James, bitch.

House of Pain told me to jump around, but these floor joists disagree.

Good thing I have been watching the Olympics. I may have to giant slalom out to my car in a few days.

when you die, they’ll find your drafts.

hemorrhoid clinic door gets stuck. you have to push really hard

The “thank goodness it’s snow and not rain” people can now eat my whole ass.

Casually checking my saggy balls to see if the weather is changing.

I had the worst Marie Callender frozen meal tonight, and I'm still trying to figure out why I was shocked.

insta search bar is all boobs and veggies time to shut it down

I could go for a nice cuddle and maybe a butt grab.

sexting you one handed because, y'know

(eating pizza)

College basketball game where the score is 69-69

surely watching basketball will take my mind off sex

welp

anybody else get random texts from corelle

I’m sick of Curling. There, I said it.

I kinda wanna roll around in a giant bowl of noodles.

Morning.

some of my skeets would be absolute bangers if all of you were as high as I was when I posted them
I just know it

who up unsolvin they mysteries

every time I don’t die laughing I get a little more cynical

kinda bullshit how everybody wants to pretend redbox was never a thing i’m not drunk you’re drunk

imo one of the best parts of watching these Olympics is the complete lack of constant ads for sports betting

I'm so sick of draft kings and fan duel

It feels like I've slept for a century, no longer knowing what I'm late for after breaking my pocket watch 🐇