Chris,

2026 nuclear family meme— featuring Fritzi as Neurodivergent Aunt, Sluggo as Sluggo, Nancy as Daughter, Nancy Jr as Woke Dog

Good morning! Yes, this is he

TikTok saying it won’t implement E2E encryption because it “puts users at risk”

Head of Police Federation of England and Wales arrested on suspicion of corruption Mukund Krishna arrested by City of London police along with two other national board members

I used to think police abolition was a pretty extreme position but, y'know, lol lmao etc

www.theguardian.com/uk-news/2026...

I think about this take more often than I'd like to.

Greg: And the task was...?

Alex: Conquer the city.

Greg: And you?

Odysseus: Built a giant wooden horse.

Greg: And it's impressive. Completely fails the task.

Odysseus (suddenly looking very like Jason Mantzoukas): But does it, Greg? Does it?

Alex: There was a camera inside the horse.

End-to-end encryption “puts users at risk” sorry what

*gestures around*

Got it. I'm sorry for your loss. To clarify: You want a eulogy for your father that's 𝘂𝗻𝗶𝗾𝘂𝗲, sounds 𝘀𝗺𝗮𝗿𝘁, and captures the 𝗹𝗼𝘃𝗲 𝘆𝗼𝘂 𝗵𝗮𝘃𝗲 𝗳𝗼𝗿 𝗵𝗶𝗺. I get it. He wasn't just your father — he was your Dad. Here a few options I came up with:

An expat in Dubai has a startling revelation: the Stephen Collins cartoon Reality check …

www.theguardian.com/lifeandstyle...

Oh sure you like Dark Souls but do you play it on hardcore mode*?

*with a cat in your lap

a man with a beard is standing in the desert with his arms outstretched and the word boom written on his chest . ALT: a man with a beard is standing in the desert with his arms outstretched and the word boom written on his chest .

The sitcom Silicon Valley is a while ago now. It depicted tech as beta nerds with big dreams, where even the top tier weren’t male big-dog coded.

And into that they dropped Russ Hanneman, venture capitalist, and the World’s Worst Man.

It’s weird that now “tech” means just loads of Russ Hannemans.

GOING UP 01 Small Prophets (BBC) My bf Mackenzie Crook does gentle folk comedy like nobody else. 02 Magnolia trees The candelabras of spring are lit, as they have been since the beginning of time. NB! their petals are edible and taste of ginger. 03 Rosalia ft Björk at the Brits New rule: all songs must have a breakdown where Björk suddenly appears like a final boss. 04 Sunlight One (1) slice of sunlight hit my skin and I became immediately manic!!!!! 05 Hannah Spencer I just think she’s cool like I’d like to get a matcha with her and learn about different types of washers and gaskets??

STEP OUT INTO THE SPRING LIGHT AND EAT A MAGNOLIA FLOWER DIRECTLY OFFOF THE TREE

ok but when are Apple going to announce the actual product everybody wants (a watch that is in fun colours again not just black or grey)

I mean you can also just grab a fistful and cram it into your gaping maw, that sort of works too

don’t threaten me with a good time. i refuse to have a good time.

this but yelling

Between Brewdog, Labour and Dubai eating it, a very specific type of guy is having the worst time and they absolutely deserve it.

BBC News: Horse in stable condition after river rescue.

I see what they did there.

There's a lot of mean-spiritedness about people who have gone to live in Dubai. We need to help, and ensure they have secure accommodation in the UK for 91 days of the next tax year.

The Pokopia logo/artwork except it says Palworld

So much will be said about all this in the coming days, but IMO the biggest takeaway is that James Watt and Martin Dickie each pocketed more than the price BrewDog was eventually sold for, while 500 hardworking staff are now out of a job & 220k equity punks don't get a dime.

Absolute charlatans.

Ok how about if: the game is bad but

you can buy a hat

They should make a videogame that is good and fun

Decided to become an influencer

Nancy by Ernie Bushmiller. First panel, Nancy talking to a logger sawing a tree and pointing to a carved piece of trunk. Nancy: Can I have that piece? My boy friend carved it. Logger: Sure. Second panel, Nancy is watching the log burn in the fire place. Nancy: I'm mad at him.

Every once in awhile I think about this Nancy comic and it makes me laugh every single time. Absolute perfection.

Composite image made up of 6 frames, 2 images wide by side repeated 3 times, zooming in further on the faces each time. On the left, a woman holds her hand in the air to attract attention while kneeling next to a man who has fallen down clutching his chest, on the right, a serious-faced man holding a briefcase Woman: Y a t'il un docteur ici?. Man: Je suis docteur. Que se passe t'il? Woman: Une attaque cardiaque ! Man: Je suis docteur en philosophie ! Woman: Il va mourir... Man: Nous allons tous mourir. Translation in English: Woman: Is there a doctor here? Man: I am a doctor, what happened to him? Woman: - a heart attack Man: I am a doctor of philosophy Woman: He's going to die... Man: We're all going to die

I've only got 2 French jokes, this is the best

What crimes have I committed such that Instagram thinks I might be interested in Ludovico Einaudi

A whole bag in a day, my arms (and back) ache in sympathy

At some point before the May elections Starmer is going to refer to “economymaxxing” or “deportationmaxxing” or something and the entire country will cringe itself to death