MJ Leaver

Free Palestine.

Demand a ceasefire.

Call Penny Wong

Telephone:
(08) 8212 8272

Local Call
1300 301 698

Parliament Office
+61262777500

Email
senator.wong@aph.gov.au

Or if you live in 1992, you can fax her.

Fax:
(08) 8212 8273

The apparently neurodivergent urge to keep every piece of clothing ever, even though you wear the same four outfits. 🫠

Last time I got her to help me, but then she had a major meltdown about the whole thing, and so we put clothes back. And it's just not sustainable to keep every $4 size 6 anko t-shirt.

No, you did a panicked 5 bag cull of one of your kid's clothes when you realised the reason you struggle to put their laundary away is because you know it won't fit.

💜 I'm MJ but also 👀

It is! A lot makes a lot more sense now 😅

@fodderfigure.bsky.social Hooray! Another great person in the cloud place.

Also um thanks to insight from my kids, and insights from your book, and tweets, and then a massive flaming burnout, I'm officially AuDHD now.

Medical bills and cost of living, organized by Janelle Bollingmoore Hi, my name is Janelle and I’m fundraising in order to pay my bills and my rent.… Janelle Bollingmoore needs your support for Medical bills and cost of living

gofund.me/1d0a721a
I’m struggling to pay my rent and I’m behind :( if you could please help me out I’d be very grateful 😇

I feel better prepared, although still a little worried. My psychologist asked me to check in with her via text after, to let her know how it went. So I'm well supported.

So therapy was about how it was triggering, and then ways I can navigate those triggers to be able to navigate the content during the training. It's CPTSD, and I've spent the last 4 years learning how to manage, but this is wilful (necessary) exposure to traumatic things.

This Thursday I have the Masterclass (a 4 hour training module) for RAHN (Responding to Abuse and Neglect) certification that I need. Reading the workbook was super triggering.

It has been a difficult and busy week. Lots of negotiating ableist systems and being exhausted by them. Today was #TherapyMonday so there was a bit of a debrief around all of that - and then talking how to manage this Thursday.

700 donated BlueSky codes have made it into the hands of members of the chronic illness community, with another 100 ready to go tomorrow morning, once my mail merge program has had a rest so I'm not exceeding its limits. Thank you so much! Let's keep it up. forms.gle/k1paHEsGnNJV...

And I don't usually cross post, because who has the energy, but I want the pocketfam to see this. I want people I don't know to see this.

I want you to know acceptance of self is wonderful, but that doesn't mean the way the world treats you is acceptable.

You are not the problem.

If you're neurodiverse and reading this - you have value, and you are loved for who you are, and I am sorry the world does not give you the equality you deserve.

I hope our fight sees the world be more inclusive - but in the interim, I hope you can find contentment in yourself.

And, I'm angry at the systems that create a world where so many kids grow up and internalise ableism.

Internalise these messages that they exist only as a binary of deficits and superpowers.

So, I'll continue to fight, from Education Departments to Parliament.

And then I had a diagnosis.

Autistic.

ADHD.

AuDHD.

How could I possibly continue to hate myself for my neurodivergence when I loved my children for theirs?

So, I'm still processing, still learning, but so very thankful that we are who we are.

It was huge, because I have spent my son's entire life loving and appreciating him for who he is.

Supporting him, scaffolding him, validating him.

Explaining there's nothing wrong with him - he is my beautiful boy, and who he is - is enough.

Before AND after diagnosis.

And I still do. I still hear, and often repeat to myself those messages.

And for years, despite support and therapy, I couldn't quiet them, ever.

When I was diagnosed recently - the way it sharply shifted my perspective sent me reeling.

The cognitive dissonance was (is) huge.

Because I believed the world when it said I was too sensitive, too loud, too fussy, too much, too smart, too fussy, too demanding.

I believed them when they told me I was wasting my potential because I was lazy, because I wasn't smart enough, I wasn't enough.

I internalised.

We do the best we can as parents, with the tools that we have.

We can always learn new skills, and do our best to implement them.

Being a neuroaffirming parent came easier to me than it does to some, because I'm neurodivergent.

But it still took (takes) conscious effort.

Now, all of this is possible due to privilege AND marginalisation.

Privilege because we are white, middle class, and we have spent a fortune on me going to therapy.

Marginalisation, because being an undiagnosed neurodivergent kid contributed to my childhood trauma.

Being a neurodivergent kid is not inherently traumatising.

Are things harder due to ableism?

Absolutely.

If you are supported, accepted, validated, and loved by your parents, and if they accept you AND point out ableism, you are less likely to internalise it.

We were discussing superhero powers at breakfast. Everyone listed their cool power. Lucas, my beautiful boy, said, "I don't know... I'm... good with how I am."

Me, "So you'd say you're content?"

He paused, then nodded, "Yep."

"That is awesome to hear buddy."

Oh man! I wish I had known. Supremely hectic week with the tiniest one off school.

Based on the incompetence witnessed so far, I don't know if that's a lie, or simply process failure. I'd have to ask whose job it is to apply for funding. And if she says hers - well, then it's a lie.

I would do that immediately - but we don't have recent enough reports to give me the ammunition I need for it. Got a GP appointment Tues to get a referral to that guy. Will book an appointment that same day.

Yep - and to find out today that the funding is there, but they aren't applying for it is 🤯 If you have parents in this spot, they need to escalate to DfE Disability Support Unit.

And I suspect that's the school not specifically writing submissions that are needed, around how explicit management and learning strategies require scaffolding by staff based on my conversations today. The funding pool is not finite. It just isn't used.