Kelson Hootman

I feel like I've heard this one before...because this is how I explained the movie to my kids when we watched it last year.

Cycling bastards think they're better than pedestrians.

You may laugh, but the Macbeths are a much better role model for a marriage than Romeo and Juliet. They discuss their problems (killing the king of Scotland), share their hobbies (killing the king of Scotland), and resolve their conflicts (by killing the king of Scotland).

Every Super Bowl ad is for the door in the forest. It’s annoying. “You must walk through the door.” Yeah thanks, I know that already. I dream of the door every night

Luigi Mangione surrounded by flames grinning with the text Repent or Perish

Westboro Baptist Church tried to make an Anti-Luigi Mangione poster but it just looks like Luigi is threatening billionaires and goes unironically hard af

SHOCKING FEDERAL COURT MOMENT: DOJ attorney Julie Le, "The system sucks, this job sucks" to Judge Jerry Blackwell who pressed her on why so many court orders are being ignored by ICE/Trump admin. She asked to be held in contempt just so she could get 24 hours of sleep. @FOX9

This is unreal. An AUSA talking like that in open court is about as close as you can come to a total breakdown. Never heard of anything like it.

I would appreciate if you didn’t call these fools “the antifa types”. We’re all antifa here.

Wizard w orb

The strictly business-brained NFL exec who months ago foresaw the February 2026 vibes and then hired Bad Bunny

DOCTOR: I told him he needed to get out to a show, that was how he would cure his depression.

CHOTINER: So you learned this technique in school?

DR: No, not— listen it was good advice. Pagliacci was in town.

C: Right. Is it standard to give advice before learning a patient’s name?

DR: Now look

What do you MEAN the president audibly SHIT himself live on camera and they immediately cancelled the press conference and rushed everyone out of the room like it's a fire drill, and it happened two days ago, and I'm just hearing about it NOW?

Thinking about whoever said that by accepting a meal from people and then arresting them ICE agents broke a cultural taboo that was invented by, like, the first humans to set up a tent

you:
[stressing for days to send the perfect single email]

billionaires:
hi, . w=en r we mee&ting to do iLlegiL stuff , . ?

Okay what? That’s not true.

Best gas masks “How did these people go out and get gas masks?” AG Bondi asked.

me, emotionally writing an essay on the use of force by federal agents: ok but what if i packaged this in the most insane way possible www.theverge.com/policy/86857...

(Dude suddenly stops pushing his broom across the floor of the Death Star)

Does this look like a big laser to anyone else

Imprison huh? Seems awfully mild.

Okay but then how do they run payroll?

I just woke up from a nap and somehow while I was asleep, everyone on the bus has figured out we are not going to the right place

Kafka’s metamorphosis but with Pokémon

As Gregor Samsa awoke one morning from unsettling dreams, he found himself transformed into an enormous Bug-type.

semi-regular reminder that ICE was only created in 2003

when you are asked to imagine a world without ICE, you're basically being asked to remember where you were when Lilo & Stitch came out

Paintings of hammerhead sharks depicted in the "Oki National Products Illustration Notes". From Japan, Edo Period, ca 1735

A pair of happy hammerhead sharks
(ca. 1735 Edo period Japan)

You are the best.

I wasn't really aware of that. How do they survive?

Our favorite Chinese restaurant is closed from Dec 20 to January 20 every year!

Jodie Foster: They should have sent a poet

Poet: Aliens ahoy! A galactic sight. When you’re in space all day is night

A close-up of a unique VHS box Christmas ornament from Cactus VHS

This year's unique ornament comes from a little shop in downtown Glendale called Cactus VHS. @techconnectify.bsky.social and @cathoderaydude.bsky.social would be proud

SKULL OF THOMAS AQUINAS: TAKE A LEFT NOW
PRIEST: No, the GPS says we have to keep going—
SKULL: I KNOW A SHORTCUT
PRIEST: Do you remember the last ti—
SKULL: FOR THOSE WITH FAITH, NO EVIDENCE IS NECESSARY; FOR THOSE WITHOUT IT, NO EVIDENCE WILL SUFFICE