Jackie Britton

Best Before dates on food are all very well, but what I really need are Will Kill You After dates.

I just found myself Googling "how to get superglue off skin". How's your day going?

Well I might notice *then*

Ah, the kind who never even notices them because they aren't looking to charge anything (it could be me).

"Internal". I'm just going on the subject line, you don't think I'm opening those emails do you?

I'm sure it says something or other about that world that my spam emails no longer offer much viagra or claim I've won a large power tool but are now trying to reel me in with offers to help me work out if my body is full of parasites.

I bought a bigger bird feeder so I wouldn't have to refill it so often. But instead I'm just attracting way more squirrels and getting through twice as much seed. I like squirrels, but I don't know if I like them *this* much.

I had a dental appointment today at 2.30pm but it was just to see the hygienist so the pun was tragically wasted.