New side hustle: shopping cart bondsman at Aldi's

do you ever have a gasoline dream that turns into a propane nightmare

God is just a physics engine that doesn't lag

On the Wikipedia page for PDF there is a map showing the maximum size of a document permitted by Adobe Acrobat, which is apparently about half of Germany

The card reader at my usual work entrance was broken so they had a sign saying go around

Which is too bad because otherwise I would have just assumed I was fired and gone home

Heard an ad for chronic migraine medication that claims to reduce 8-9 migraines per month compared to 6-7 for the placebo

Like damn where can I get that placebo?

Hey Google, where is my super suit?

You Follow One Kid Home, Rip Out His Eyes And All The Sudden You're A 'Killer' Squirrel I’m a happy-go-lucky squirrel who loves living the good life of climbing trees and eating nuts. Mostly eating nuts. Man! I can’t get enough of them. So tasty. But let’s make one thing clear, right her...

You Follow One Kid Home, Rip Out His Eyes And All The Sudden You're A 'Killer' Squirrel

My neighbor's cat got a new car

if chemtrails are real they should at least make them cool colors like in Laputa