soft

I had to buy another acrylic stand, now it’s several more months of wait time 😭😭😭

ZANDER NETHERBRAND WHEN I GET YOU 🤺
WHY ARE YOU SO GORGEOUS ON YOUR JUNE BRIDE ART I CAN’T

I’m going on vacation 🥹 I haven’t seen the sea in sooooo long 💙

I’m happy I can sleep again but I’m also starting to fall asleep so early now 🥲 I barely sat through my class today.

I started taking meds and I think it’s helping. But I also I think I caught a cold, and I’m on the road and can’t check my temperature rn 😭 Always take a thermometer with you when you travel, boys and girls.

Yeah… It’s a mental thing. Well, fuck. At least it can be cured, I guess.

It’s literally impossible to access medical care in the country I have to return to, and having to go there soon without receiving any diagnosis or help is scaring me.

Maybe I should stay one more week to figure it out?

Still haven’t found a cause for all this… Haven’t slept a blink today from panicking

If MRI doesn’t help localise the problem now, it’s 100% just a mental thing…

I asked this person nicely to not send me anything with this ship I hate with a passion. So what does this person do a month after the fact? Sends me this shit and ruins my mood, of course. Like why?? Is it hard to discuss this thing with someone who would appreciate it instead of 🤮 in your face?!

I just hope I survive long enough to get the help I need.

I just want to share this somewhere because fear really got a hold on me right now. I’m so fucking scared that I won’t survive this. I need help, I can’t wait anymore.

I want to travel to Asia but it’s so expensive 😭 The plane tickets alone cost like a grand. How do people do it?

I don’t feel so good… I’m scared again. Going to a doctor tomorrow, really hope they’ll say I’ll be fine.

试一试/试试/试一下
And you’re telling me there is no difference?! My brainnnn 😭

It’s like I shouldn’t have made a server of my own. So much bad stuff happened already because of it, but so much good stuff as well… I want to shut it down but then I also don’t want to lose some people because of all this.

The other one said okay but like… They are really into this ship so I feel like I ruined my relationship with them. And the third one outright said they don’t like it and left. Like man… it’s you joking about my NOTP in MY server, MY space that made my anxiety spike so I couldn’t eat for 2 days wtf

A quick update, then. I asked three of the people I keep in close contact with to tone it down with my NOTP in my server so it doesn’t trigger me again. One is a total sweetheart and she said she understands, and I love her infinitely for that.

Oh… o h. So that was a real anxiety attack. Okay… Yeah, I remember now why I left that fandom 5 years ago. But also it’s home to my most favourite comfort OTP of all time, and if I just don’t interact with that one thing, it should be okay… right?

I talked to one of the people who brought up my NOTP yesterday, and I’m so happy she understood. I’m so used to people disregarding my feelings, I was expecting anything but acceptance and promise not to talk about this in front of me. I have to talk to another one tomorrow… Hope it goes as well..

I love how I can trace every year through the songs I used to listen, just because if I like a song I listen to it until I’m sick of it lol

don’t ever lose sight of what’s important in life (the two fictional characters in your mind that keep you going)

I wish I could unsee or forget about it, but it's not as simple as it seems.

I know I must be overreacting, but seeing this one ship is triggering me. It was a good day, but why the f did it have to come up where I could see it?

#米英
#usuk

#Incubirthday2025
"Hey Boss? A certain Vampire has a message for you?"

Zanny outdid himself again with the birthday VP, hotdamn… (Also I’ve been having horrible insomnia these days, and it’s so calming… I feel like I can go to sleep now 🥺🙏🏻)

I hate dealing with local delivery but I just couldn’t pass on the Zanny birthday acrylic stand 🥰 I wanted a dakimakura so much too but I know it’s just not for me… It’d just sit somewhere in its casing and never see the light of day lmao. But I’m super excited about other Netherlings sharing theirs

I really hope I’m not going crazy and this is just some shitty generator fucking up my sleep. Let it be summer again, please. I want summer.