Artemis

dude i hate being terrified of spiders, big one and my heartrate spiked like 40bpm

i had a dream i was sexually assaulted

new advancement: maybe have bpd

i just need to make it to thursday.

i need someone to talk to but i can't bother anyone

i desperately want to talk to him but i can't, ive fucked up too many times. over and over. repeatedly. nonstop. anything i do will hurt him more and i can't do that anymore

even if i try to do anything for him just can't. my exsistence hurts him

all ido is just pretend. i pretend i talk to people and share my interezts. i pretend that i'm fine. i pretend like i'm a good person

i think i'm done

yeah i fucked up i fucked up i hate this i hate myself i'm sorry i can't do this i can't i can't

i am going to start sleeping on the floor. no more couch

yeah discord is gone again. i'll continue to isolate and cry

need to self isolate until i give up

socialization was attempted but i don't think anything helps anymore

i don't feel like a person anymore

i'm not really worth enough

trying to come up with a plan to do the thing i'm not supposed to do

like dude holy fuck i am so stupid and worthless. i can't believe i ever pretended otherwise. i don't ever do anything right. i can't even take care of myself anymore. i don't even care to anymore. what's the point of trying when i'm just waiting for myself to properly give up

tick tock
tick
tock
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i am so upset i need to cause myself pain until i learn my lesson. i can't ever do anything ever again. i cant believe i am this person.

the marks are fading again. need to bring them back

there isn't anything. i tried so fucking hard to find anything to make me feel okay. anything put something at the end of the endless tunnel, and i can't. nothing is there. i hate everything i destroyed every chance of everything becuase i'm so fucking stupid and terrible and misera le and gjcyxufue

i don't know if i want to do anything ever again. i want to stop thinking and feeling pain. i want to roll over and just stop breathing. i am so tired of this. i want to have anything feel better but i just can't. it's all my fault as usual snd so i will continue to pay that price until i kms. yay

its 5am ?????

i'm not sure how i feel

i'm just kinda here

its late. i should sleep

i should take my medication again

fuck gjbgnngjdjdkdfhc a hdhsjdhdfbdhsjdbcb

tick tock

tick tock

i don't like this isolation. i want to not be alone anymore. i hate this. i hate it i hate it i hate it.
i think i should punish myself more probablh

yeah still insane idk man help

amsmdjskdhdixhdjxohxdjd kill me i don't know what to do anymore i am lost and confused.

i want to be okay

i want to be loved

i'm sorry

i'm so sorry

yeah 100%

i am insane holy fuck

die dumbass

i cna tdo anything

why can't i be normal and actually make connections like i'm supposed to all i get left with is pain and suffering because i'm fucked up and an"/ do anything right like what the fcuk is wrong with me i' so done with this fucking bsullsh I fjfudjdidjeihd die fuck you kill yourseld right now who cares

yeah i don't talk to anyone ever and then when i do make a connection that i want to keep i fucking sabotage it and ruin it and do all the wrong things and i fucking hatjdudhskxhejxhxjdhxudh yeah ok whatever who cares i connected that deep vut that doesnt matter i'm all alone now!! yay!!!!ejhdsohedh

all i do is cause pain