Pissf****t

Im logging off now to be present for my boyfriend when he gets home. For fucking once. ill obviously be back But ill be thinking long and hard abt what I wanna do w my time and I need to like. Do Something. I was gonna make it a NY resolution but I dont think it can way lol. We'll see

Its terrifying because 99% of people around me are Online. Theyre on all the apps. Cuz its what you do. And you make fun of people who arent Online. Who dont Know Things. Cuz its the modern age and if ur not online ur an alien. Is that good?????? Is that how we want to live?????? I cant do it man

Im obv having a moment here but im fully fucking serious I cant keep doing this. Think what you want I dont give a shit. I feel genuinely stupider and less present because of social media and tech and as soon as Im able to let it go I fucking will

Im sick of forcefeeding myself information that makes me unwell. Im sick of hurting myself for no reason. And its embarassing!!! To me on that fucking phone all the time!!! Im ashamed!!! And I should be!!! Im missing out on so much cuz I need to look on my screen. Because I fear Ill miss out ONLINE

And you might think "this seems like an overreaction" FUCK you honestly. I know deep in my heart that I have issues that would be fixed if I was able to let go of this fucking blue-light pacifyer. And thats what it is!!! Its for comfort!!! I cant let it go or elsd I feel SCARED AND RESTLESS!!

I want to get rid of my phone BUT I FUCKING CANTTTT CUZ EVERYTHINGA ON IT!!! MY CREDIT CARD MY EMAIL MY JOB MY TRAIN TICKETS MY EMERGENCY CONTACTS, IF I GET RID OF IT IM NO LONGER A FUNCTIONING PART OF SOCIETY FUCKKKKKKKKKKK I HATE IT I WANT TO THROW UP BITCH!! FUCKKK

And i cant stop!!!! I cant sit in silence, i cant stop watching reels, i cant eat without youtube, i check my apps 50 times an hour. I check my EMAIL in search for Something To Give Me That Rush. I HATE IT. Say what U want abt whether or not you can be addicted to technology but i FEEL IT! DEEPLY

Everything is an ad, everything is ai, everything is giving money to genocide, everythibg is influencing, everything is out to get you and exploit you and use your data or make you insecure or lie to you. Im sick!!! IM SICK OF IT IM SICK IM SICK IM SICK I HATE MY PHONE I NEED TO BE FUCKING FREE

Urge to delete all social media is soooo fucking strong its unreal

But honestly Idgaf. Theres bigger problems in the world

I think I just ate a lot of raw pizza dough accidentally

Lotte is my sweet baby pea princess whom I love more than anything and also my worst enemy forever

AWOOOOOOOO

Honestly might stretch my second lobe piercings eventually. Just cuz I can

Id need to do a 20 week Preperation Course and then the education itself is 2 years. And theres apprenticeship too n it just seems like a lot. Maybe its too much work to put into it when the thing I do actually wanna do is cook. I just wanna cook w kids man... and know how to talk 2 them properly

Here’s some more #jennifersbody #fanart to get it out of my system . This is technically a redraw of an older fanart of mine I’m really happy with how much my art has progressed since then #wlw #clipstudiopaint #digitalart

I dont miss my boyfriend actually he can stay where he is

My friends and my boyfriend are all hanging out rn but because Ive got evening shift im sitting here at work on 2 milkcrates eating lasagna by myself. On a friday nontheless

Reading more abt this education Im considering pursuing and Im getting kinda nauseous with the idea of it all... like its related to kids and teaching and shit & its so different from what Ive spent the last 10 years doing. Its so people-oriented n a lot of responability. Man...... its fucking scary

Im trying hard to help preparing him for what to expect in a good way that can bring comfort & NOT accidentally freak him out about it. Its better to like. Take things as they come than to try n prepare him for Every Single Scenario, thatll just stress him out. phewww

Boyfriend top surgery time in 19 days.... im almost as excited as I was for my own 😭

Drew these ideas n sent them to my tattoo artist. Deposit paid so this is happening the 15th YAY

Man....

Gonna watch Jojo Rabbit. Wish me luck

God... we recently had some major drastic changes be made n the bosses openly said "some people will probably quit over this, but thats just how it is" they dont careeeee dude

Im working 10-18 the 23rd which is when Im supposed to do christmas eve w my moms side of ghe family so I have to ask around if anyone wants to swap shift which. Always feels like a crime to do even tho its fine. For 2026 im manifesting better jobs for us both

I while back ago I had to choose when I wanna work during christmas and I was like "godwilling this will not becone relevant" but here we are, and it is... and now I have to work 8-16 on the 24th 😔 but it could be worse I suppose

We have to choose when we want breaks at work for all of 2026 already and I feel kinda bad writing down dates knowing I will not be working here by then lmak

Disco Elysium Dance 🕺🕺✨