Truckstop Vigilante

Iirc this basically WAS that arthur chu doc

Gf speaking to camera: He’s a deep thinker. Sometimes he’ll just be so lost in thought, and I’ll be like, where’d you go? Haha. But he’s just so deep inside his mind. I know it’s got to be so beautiful in there.

Bf in background: *bending down to pick up and eat a piece of prosciutto off the floor

Ah, thank you so much for coming in. Impressive CV. Broadway! I assume you’re reading for Bugeyed Nincompoop 1?

Kissing the cold unfeeling lips of an engineer. It moans like a fallen oak tree but does not move.

It would be unseemly

Leslie and Brianne are passed out in their living room, surrounded by empty beer cans and bottles. Light passing through the window wakes up a hungover Leslie. She looks at the TV. An "Are you still watching "Monk"?" screen is displayed. Leslie hurls a beer bottle at the TV while yelling, "Yes, I'm still watching fucking Monk!"

I wont kiss a girl before 6pm. Its not appropriate

Eating a drum of Improvement Cream

reverse cowgirl because my amulet gives me a bonus to backstab damage

Youre welcome i hope its a tiny bit slushy for ya

*timer goes off during sex*

You close babe? The mountain dews are ready to come out of the freezer

For this tik tok challenge, i'll be setting off the airbags in my moms car

The Count loading shells into a sawed off 'Vun, Two, Tree'

Elmo going full metal jacket muttering A is for Ammo as he oils an AR-15

Burt and Ernie digging up the basement and hauling out a weapons locker theyd promised each other never to touch again

Kicked off ratemyfeet dot com for causing a schism when i suggested that left and right feet should be rated separately.

Herzog: the 'off' represents entry to a realm of exclusion, from emotion, from pain. The 'jacking' is merely the function, the mechanism by which it is achieved

I remember a couple i knew thru a friend. We went over to their place for supper once and the man told me if he behaves he gets his treat later and then he said the treat was a blowjob

I brought weed. He said he couldnt smoke it so he ate a gram of dried flower lol

Didnt hit it off needless to say

Online dating is a horrible chore bereft of humanity or civility and will no longer debase myself with such horrid pursuits. Im gonna meet someone the old fashioned way, by rarely leaving my house and being off-putting and weird when I do.

Taking my shirt off as soon as i get into my truck

One must never simply 'dash' through the snow.

I have invented a new character, "Cock Ring and Waterbed Man." I will explain more about him later. His theme song is Kokomo

Yeah my jeans are also the 'Home of the Whopper' (i have one really huge ball)

The escalations through the episode were so perfect

Thank you thank you

'why was it so fas-' ending the video also perfect. Its the funniest shit ive ever seen

Smacking the side right as he comes and then ragdolling for 20 feet. Its perfect

That cop eating shit on the slide gets me every time. Funniest video online. A few seconds of insane clattering and then he just flies out. Its perfect. Its just perfect

happy 2 years to the Boston Cop Slide

This dude has iron guts he'll be fine. Botulism fears HIM