alexis simpson

the new york times post captioned “here are the suggested serving sizes of common household supplies that surprised us the most” with a photo of a glob of white goo in the palm of a hand

gotta be another way to do this

after several intense and incredible years building @francesmeh.reviews from the ground up, i've decided to step back from my responsibilities as chief posting officer in order to transition into a new role as vice president of fucking your mom

my son is cleaning up the house because he wants to prove he can take care of a bearded dragon

imagine dying in a vanity war with iran and then when your body gets sent home to your grieving family, the overseeing your final departure on behalf of america is the largely disgraced author of hillbilly elegy

Bluesky's new age verification system will make you choose to either hum/mumble a few words from a Dave Matthews song (song must be from Crash or Under the Table and Dreaming) or play the opening riff to Black Sabbath's Iron Man on guitar (it's ok if you're a little off as long as it's sincere)

make darth the ceo and no one tell him til he gets back

what if we did not do government by hourly news cycle. it is just an idea i had

Anyone know what the coolest restaurants in Richmond are

Two boxes holding little stuffed balls inside that say "Kick Balls"

Thanks for the suggestion but I was already going to

🥰

bluesky being immediately negatively polarized into going with skeets because we were asked not to was the first sign that we were going to make it as a posting site

every true posting forum declares forever war against the mods

SHOE (created by Jeff MacNelly, syndicated by King Features)

cloachy breaky heart

Tim Robinson surprised for being banned on BlueSky for the 10th time for just asking questions

(my reaction to being banned by BlueSky mods once every 6 weeks)

“You can’t change the rules … just cause you don’t like how I’m doin it”

juno is not spam! JUNO IS REAL

NO YOU'RE NOT

@toni.bsky.team No lie, hire this literal journalist as your outreach or comms person. Like just try it. I promise that you have only to gain from this. You can read huge quantities of her writing for reference.

Figurines of Brady Bunch and Partridge Family fighting each other

I have created a diorama of the Partridge family attacking the Brady Bunch family. My life is very boring.

Hey, friends. My incarcerated friend, Jeremiah, would like some help getting Bibles into the hands of some of his peers. I ask you to put aside any negative feelings about religion you might have to help folks in the way they have asked to be helped. /1

I don’t know, man, maybe we should learn not to trust malignant narcissistic fascists whose worst traits are calcifying and their brains are getting worse as they die with power

This puts me at 10 people released. I filed my 1st habeas petition 29 days ago. I am an incredibly small-time, nobody lawyer who knew nothing about immigration law the day I submitted that case. I barely know any more today. I had never sued the federal government and now I've beaten them 10 times.

“The war is over. But we haven’t achieved any of our objectives (ie nuclear or regime change). In fact we have some other objectives now (destroy shahed factories). And we might do more war like ‘take over the strait’. Plus I didn’t ask our allies.

- the president

bird flu this bird flu that like ok big fucking deal thats like all they do

"Plain White Derek" is a GREAT film title

I usually order an unflavored latte mostly because I prefer it simple, but also because it's funny when the barista yells "plain white Derek."

I can only get information in the absolute fastest possible way not a second can be wasted, this is what civilization depends on

*turns on Joe Rogan talking for 3 hours to Carrot Top about how AI can make a song that sounds like 50 Cent is singing the Beatles*

do not fight Islamophobia with antisemitism. reject anyone who tries. they are on the same side of the coin, white supremacy is the shared goal of each and they will feed off one another unless we reject them both wholesale.

thiccey mouse

this guy must fucking hate burger king

right! He doesn't want communal society. He wants hierarchy, with him on top