Ben Clarkson

a man with the letter h on his head ALT: a man with the letter h on his head

Underage? You can't have been a full member of the golf course, then!

I once had a temp have a similar "personal item" delivered to the office after she'd finished working for us. Due to the nature of her role the package was assumed to be work supplies. Fair play, though: she returned to claim her parcel!

Just wait until they find out what the gingerbread man is.

Absolutely brilliant match at @lc-lionesses.bsky.social today, with the cherry on top of a 4-2 win being Linari and Goodwin signing balls for the kids... Issy picked my youngest, at her first match, out in the crowd for hers and made a point of coming over. Once a Blade, always a Blade!

Finally got a fess published! @datakilljoy.bsky.social

On my dog walk I often chat with right wingers. I pretend I am an ex-Reform voter put off by the utter fuck up of our county council. Then they see me as one of their own, don't get defensive and shouty, and start to question their own opinion of Reform. Honey, not vinegar.

I don't think my poor brain could cope with correct grammar... The absurd seemed more likely!

Oh that's not nearly as fun

Both tyres? I think your "car" may be a motorcycle.

My wedding has gone down in legend for the serving of takeaway curry and pizza. Pizza naan, anyone?

Living funerals are a thing. Probably hilarious having everyone try and say nice things about you as if you're dead, while you're sat there with them!

Leave him? I think you need to get him locked up!

Sounds a bit like how my train app wishes me "Congratulations! You're going to London Terminals" when I buy my monthly commuter's season ticket.

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This is incredible! @lewisgoodall.com surely the finest journalist of his generation and here is further proof.

The secret court that silenced The News Agents...until now www.audible.co.uk/pd/B0FGK17S7...

I just have a sign on my pannier with the camera road sign image on it. Much cheaper than a camera but it tends to discourage people from driving too close.

I read a job application tonight that stated, "I hereby declare that I have read and understood the job description in full". It's a shame I'm not recruiting for a Town Crier, really.

Going to school in Bexleyheath in the mid-late 90s, and being a geek, wasn't fun. But being there today, the bar that was popular with all the Trendies is now a geek shop!

Feels like we won, just like Jarvis Cocker said we would.

I used this trick to get my eldest to change his nappy 🤦🏻‍♂️

Whoosh

Expect your wife will shortly ditch you for a like-for-like replacement, same style, colour etc.

(and honestly I don't know why I don't sit and eat by breakfast there more often! A great start to the week).

Both parts of Leading with Ed Miliband are fascinating, but his passion for the climate agenda shines through in this. A perfect antidote to populists' cynical negativity. So good I had to stop and eat by breakfast by the lake in St. James' Park to keep listening. #NetZero

I don't think I've celebrated a goal like I celebrated that one. Such a sweet hit. Hugging my boy, who had his first experience of "limbs", as well as complete strangers. VAR ruined it. I knew at that moment we'd lose.

Who would be a Sheffield United fan, eh? Officially bad for your health, giving me an abnormal heart rate alert! #BSkyBlades

Congratulations to Crystal Palace. A phenomenal performance and result. And most of all, well done to the legend that is Dean Henderson!

DEANO! DEANO! DEANO!

#FACup
#CrystalPalace

That's brilliant Lee. We might have lost that day, but what a match!

Image shows the virtual view from a particular seat in Wembley stadium. The image shows the lush green pitch from a central, low down position. Surrounding the pitch, the red seats can be seen in three large tiers.

Very excited to be taking my son to Wembley for the first time next weekend... Hopefully he'll be a lucky charm and see the Blades win their for the first time in 100 years! And what a view! #BSkyBlades #Playoffs