Jono Zalay

The overlap in the Venn diagram of comics performing in Saudi Arabia and those who toured continuously through the height of the pandemic is circle labeled NO LIVES MATTER

Hegseth is an alcoholic but telling everyone “GET IN HERE, i have ideas for a new dress code” is more of a coke thing to do.

HEGSETH: Gather the top brass.

WOMAN ASSISTANT: But sir… that would be a security nightmare, and cost millions?!

HEGSETH: I don’t care! I’ve just seen a T-shirt that will change the course of military history.

I don’t know what an “ombudsman” is and I hope to God I never know.

Welp. I guess now we know why Hegseth drinks.

People genuinely saying things like “Charlie Kirk wasn’t racist! He just DISAGREED that black people had the mental capacity to have good jobs.”

Nobody:

My bank transfer:

I suppose this would be a good time to promote my new Custom Bullet Engraving Etsy Store

Before all these right wing snitches try to get everyone fired for being happy that a fascist piece of shit is dead, they should really think about next month’s jobs report. 😬

Is there a way to fly a flag at DOUBLE mast?

Careful everyone. You kill one Charlie Kirk and 20 more will pop up to debate you

RIP any work that needed to get done today.

Before you post something inflammatory about Charlie Kirk like "he was no angel" you should take a moment and reflect that he is ALSO not currently an angel.

I hope some lunatic on the right isn’t so radicalized by this shooting that they go on a rampage to kill like… multiple members of the Minnesota legislature and their families.

I’m in 4 fantasy football leagues and have successfully drafted every player in the NFL. Now when I watch games I just hope they have a fun time.

LEAKED PHOTO: Trump has been put on a respirator

First addition to the Vance Whitehouse

Chicago keeping art alive:

Haven’t been here in a while. Does this site still kinda suck?

Favorite stores:
1. COSTCO
2. a second COSTCO to compare inventory and layout.

How many more cities does the military need to occupy before Trump gets the Nobel Peace Prize?

NYC Mass Shooting Was Nearly Impossible to Prevent, Experts Say

Holy shit, they did it. They wrote the headline.

Is this the sequel to ‘Challengers’?

It’s only been a month and Elon already stole the White House’s plan for MechaHitler.

There’s a Republican congressman who’s gonna betray 17 million people cuz he doesn’t want to miss the fireworks.

I’m gonna call the Better Business Bureau on the Big Beautiful Bill. It’s a scam, folks!

I have had it up to HERE with these fatcats in Washington!

a woman in a red dress is holding a microphone in her hand and raising her fist in the air . ALT: a woman in a red dress is holding a microphone in her hand and raising her fist in the air .

YOU GET A LUIGI! AND YOU GET A LUIGI!

Economists predict the Big Beautiful Bill is going to create 12-15,000 Luigi’s over the next 5 years.

A lot of you need to be asking yourself why you have a comedy hero who isn’t good at standup