Trash Night Video

Would truly, sincerely love to provide better information than this, or tee up some concrete future dates, but first I just really gotta make sure it's responsible for me to be using both eyes at the same time. Current timeframe for this info is "sometime between tonight, and maybe in two weeks" 😌

TONIGHT'S TRASH NIGHT
must be
POSTPONED to a FUTURE DATE
due to the
LACK OF AVAILABILITY
of
AREA EYEPLASTY SPECIALISTS
until they are
SUFFICIENTLY CAJOLED
out of their
EXTENSIVE OVERSEAS VACATIONING

(we can get into further platform details then too, we also read up on discord's forthcoming shit)

Somehow, against all odds, and maybe not for very long, we are live, with a presentation of the film Twitch banned before we even played it. Link in the quote

This is a stupid signup bug - you have to verify your age first, I think? Sorry this is a hassle, you certainly arent banned!

Who's ready to not let "perfect" be the enemy of "direct-to-video"???

discord.gg/pcPartqn6

Come in early! Kick some tires! If you need an account, get that part out of the way early! If you see something you know could be improved, holler at us!

Additionally, we have been advised to add some additional comments:
- HyperCanasta is NOT, legally speaking, a game, pastime, or diversion
- We are not the owner, propeitor, licensor, licensee, or third-party atachée to, or of, HyperCanasta
- Report any/all "Smugglepig Variant" sightings to the IAEA

1. Not really
1A. Do NOT accept medical care from Smugglepig
2. Please monitor this feed today. Despite everything, an attempt to perform needful FilmShowing via offsite Bezosless stopgap tech will be conducted at roughly 7:30PM EST. URLs to come.
3. (sighing) Smugglepig is also the secondary market

> 4

You draw from <DECK 4>.

==== <AEGIS CHANCE>! ====

Reveal a valid <AEGIS> (<BOWLING-ASPECTED>), hotly.

? >

Second round of HYPERCANASTA, with changes to board state detailed in prior posts.

<SMUGGLEPIG> ends her turn.

==== ROUND 2 ====

{R2} DRAW PHASE
<DECK 3> is on <EXECUTIVE COOLDOWN>.
Select a deck (1-2; 4-8).
>

A "ProSet SuperStars MusiCard(TM)" depicting the late-80s reggae-lite sensation UB40 (who sang "Red Red Wine", etc). Sorry British folks, I don't know why these guys took over in the US and Simple Minds failed to make an impact, but I respect how many column inches I read about that lament in the mid-90s. Sorry, where were we?

<SMUGGLEPIG> draws a card from <DECK 7>.

<SMUGGLEPIG> amends her Fateline with <UB40>!

<SMUGGLEPIG> undergoes Entropic Drift!

She has [0] card(s) in her hand.
She has completed [0] books.
She has no <AEGIS>.
She has no <MANA>.
She has a <RUNNING CREW> of [1]. It is <REGGAE-ASPECTED>.

> 3

You draw from <DECK 3>.

You have [1] card(s) in your hand.
You have completed [0] books.
You have no <AEGIS>.
You have no <MANA>.
You have no <RUNNING CREW>.
You have 25 "Good Story Points."

Your turn ends, as no further moves are possible.

<SMUGGLEPIG> happily lays out the opening board state for you both (oriented towards you, as you've lost most recently).

<SMUGGLEPIG> gestures to your clothes, which she's stretched and draped over her own, and crows:
"Clothes horses ride slow, you're first to go!"

{R1} DRAW PHASE
Select a deck.
>

<SMUGGLEPIG> begins rapidly shuffling both decks with both sets of her hands, the card-faces flickering across the air in front of her like mirages of birds, or foreign logotypes.

You can now play <HYPERCANASTA [REGIONAL BETTING VARIANT]> against <SMUGGLEPIG> here.

There is one exit NORTH.

? >

<SMUGGLEPIG> stops idly shuffling her decks of cards and looks up at you, a grin spreading across her scaly face.

<SMUGGLEPIG> says:
"Ohhhhh!!! Oh how wonderful, hee hee, you're back, you're back!!"

<SMUGGLEPIG> gestures at your pants.

<SMUGGLEPIG> says:
"And, you brought table stakes with you!!"

? > go SOUTH

The road SOUTH of the CyberTheater terminates in a rough-trod cul-de-sac, carving out a sort of "gestured clearing" in the undifferentiated grasslands surrounding out.

<SMUGGLEPIG> remains seated behind the cheap wooden card table, wearing all of your clothes (except for your pants).

<JANITOR> nods at you and says:
"Anyway. I'll get back to it. A happy third Tuesday to you - and, earnestly - truly appreciate you checking in."

<JANITOR> turns and resumes work.

<JANITOR> sings to themselves:
"Bread, bread, bread... wonderful bread..."

There is one exit: SOUTH

? >

<JANITOR> says:
"So - please forgive us this skunkworks-grade response phase to the stultifying effect of the Hand of Jeff. Those who dare should keep an eye on this feed for off-schedule tire-kicking test streams - but all efforts aim to return us to our extremely regular schedule."

<JANITOR> says:
"Look. I'm no student of history, but: I don't know if humankind has ever more badly needed a way to watch a movie where a dog learns to drive a municipal bus, or where an aging kickboxer drives a motorcycle into a skeleton lord. We need bad ADR like the grasslands need rainfall."

<JANITOR> hurries to add:
"No additional concern warranted, sincerely - all is well!"

<JANITOR> says:
"Given all the existential, no-further-details nonsense this streaming outfit has endured lately, it simply felt germane to deliver what useful information we *did* have to you straightforwardly."

<JANITOR> frowns ruefully and says:
"I wish I could say we'd open for business tonight, but - aside from everything you might be wondering about..."

<JANITOR> gestures at their one bad eye and cheerfully says:
"...this was also the month where we learned there is an ER Just For Eyeball Problems!!!"

? > TAP CALENDAR

You remove <CALENDAR> from your rucksack, brandish it, and tap it.

<JANITOR> shades their one good eye and squints at you from the top of the rubble, then brightens and waves.

<JANITOR> says:
"Happy third Tuesday, traveler!"
"What a world it is, that we might meet like this!"

? > POKE DATA

The <PILE OF DATA> chirps merrily. It appears surprisingly healthy!
It seems the orbital ban impact, while severe, abrupt, and perhaps unjust?, merely affected the uplink apparatus around it.

<JANITOR> continues clearing rubble from the CyberTheater.

There is one exit: SOUTH

? >

(Do you think Jeff knew we spent a little extra time on the BezosBlock for tonight's intended movie? Does Adobe telemetry yap on you if you name your folder after a FAANG C-level? Much too think about,)

I would also like to wish sorry and happy mutual birthday to your mom.

[fucks up some GDPR nuance and is fined 500K euro] Oh no

It'd be the most efficient way to get rolling for sure, but given how many other options there turned out to be, just couldnt stomach the thought of immediately herding everyone onto another corporate platform with no way to guarantee service. Gotta try going back to the DIY roots at least one time

FORGOTTEN_VCR - Twitch 𝙒𝘼𝙏𝘾𝙃 𝙏𝙑 𝘼𝙉𝘿 𝙎𝙏𝘼𝙔 𝙄𝙉𝘿𝙊𝙊𝙍𝙎

The one thing that really sucks ass is that we can't raid FORGOTTEN VCR, who are actually on at a raidable time tonight, so if you were hoping to start watching a movie by now, let's do this in reverse: Raid them now and let's see if we can Trash Night after that

LETS GO www.twitch.tv/forgotten_vcr

If that can't get spun up in the next hour or two, then it'll just happen when it happens. Maybe by Thursday, which, randomly, is Trash Night's birthday? Maybe this weekend? But happily the question seems to no longer be "how" so much as "how soon."

The backup plan for this possibility got delayed by "having fucked up eyes all month" or else you'd all be clicking on a URL right now. I am actually going to go see how far that all got just in case there's a possibility for a Hail Mary tonight.

We have somehow been banned within ten minutes of going live despite streaming nothing but public domain film. Alright, message received, Jeff!