Aetherium

I'm tired of feeling like a child. Of not knowing how to act older than 16. It's so frustrating to not be able to connect to my peers because in their eyes I'll always be childish and a pity case. At least that's how it feels in my mind. I want to belong.

actually my headmates are making me up

I forgot about this app.
Anyways, I'm on a waiting list for assisted living now.
Very mixed feelings about this.
Does anyone have experiences with this and would be comfortable to share?

never thought I'd have the struggle of needing to figure out which alter fronts for meeting new people but here we are

acting as if I had a choice, too. we'll probably just be blurry the entire time

not too good tbh but I think we'll go to sleep soon, maybe we'll feel better tomorrow

how are y'all?

Tell me a random fact about yourself and I'll put my spotify liked songs on shuffle and give you a song. There are over 2.5k options and many different genres.

I literally have the same feeling. just gonna enjoy the peace while it lasts tbh

Pervis: THIS WEBPAGE IS TAKING FOREVER TO LOAD! *Pervis clicks refresh button the same instant the page loads* CLICK *Pervis's spirit departs the body*

go to pinterest and search:

"celebrity"
"outfit"
"quote"
"aesthetic"

quote this with the FIRST pic that appears, that is your vibe you give off on bluesky

I think I'm gonna go for music. I feel like going for a drive would be amazing to make me tired but I don't have a license haha

y'all know that feeling when you're really tired but can't fall asleep?

yeah that's me, right now.

any advice is appreciated (and don't suggest guided relaxation meditations please because I'm trying to learn to sleep without using them again)

I haven't been to the local library in so long because I didn't find the time and I hate going into town but maybe I'm gonna go there again. After all the type of people who make me anxious likely won't be there bc they don't seem like ppl who read a lot.

I fixed my sleep schedule by three hours last night only to then fall asleep and sleep for six hours during the day.

Mission failed successfully.

omg I love this song

@cynosurecollective.bsky.social idk if y'all do such tags but y'all are cool and one of our favourite mutuals

Annoyance, because family and because someone let me wait and then said that he didn't have time for me.

Satisfaction, because I received confirmation that I was right in an argument with my sister.

Exhaustion, because I've done so many taxing things this week.

I lie because I don't want them to think that I'm a bad person.
I didn't even realize that other people did that so it surprises me to read this in such questions.

No, not really. I don't know what love feels like, I don't even truly love my friends when it comes to definitions (which sounds damn sad).

My parents have disappointed me too many times. They messed me up and now act as if I was the one who messed myself up. At this point I'm distancing myself.

I don't hate them. I just kinda dislike them for a reason I can hardly understand myself. They've pissed me off a few times, and they're somewhat clingy, and I remember that they fueled my unhealthy grandiosity a few years ago (I don't blame them, we were both only teenagers).

Yes, I do. I used to hate it (because it caused dysphoria among other reasons) but I think it is a very recognizable and unique voice with a lot of potential for variation. So I've started to like it.

No but I wanted to, a few times. I was scared to be found by the police though, and I was certain I'd get lost or wouldn't even make it out of the house. And I was scared of punishment for running away.

Too many things (that have currently vanished from my brain).
I am always confused by social norms, the way that people expect you to be confident and extraverted everywhere, etc..

I've managed to get an apprenticeship two years ago. I thought I'd end up in disability care before that.
I still don't know how I passed the interview but I'm proud of myself for getting to the point of saying "I might be able to live a normal life".

Weird.
Can't tell what I'm feeling, it's all foggy. There's annoyance and irritation in the mix, that's all I can say.

I need to actually get up and work on myself instead of expecting solutions to adjust to my current needs and wishes.

That's incredibly hard though and I've failed at that for the past years.

Yes, if I fear their rejection or possible consequences.
However if I don't fear anything these people could do, I will easily say no.

When I was born.
Not joking. My mom was 21, just escaped from an extremely abusive childhood and had no idea how to be a mom because her parents were terrible. My dad was barely present and my mom was overwhelmed.